Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem

A Poem by Cordelia
"

A poem I wrote during one of my most trying, most frustrating times. I've finished editing it now.

"
It's time to let the world know
It's time to finally let it go
Time to forget your pain and sorrow,
And face what lies tomorrow.
I'm sure it hurts like hell
Your wounds all bleed as well
All the scars of yesterday
Open up, and you can't say
a thing
about
what's happening
So open your eyes and see like me,
Open your heart and let it be
For it's alright, it's finally over,
Someday we'll all get better
You hate it as much as I do now
But trust me later time will allow
All your wounds to be healed,
All your pains to go away
Someday you and I'll both see
Why there's nothing in this heart left to give
There will be time when you'll cry and say
There was nothing left in her heart to save.
To everyone, I'll just say,
I'm taking your pain away.
Hopefully you'll realize one day
All the reasons I couldn't have stayed.
So this poem bears my conscience
All the things I've kept in pretense
My fears and thoughts that bear
The things that my mind has kept
from all of you
and at times
myself.
As your cuts open up and bleed,
I'll touch your scars, smile and see,
All the things I'll let you know,
Everything neither of us could let go.
Look into my eyes and understand
What things go on in my mind
Not just the pain, but the memories,
Of childhood and all that is
Or, rather, was good in life,
All the things I wanted mine.
All that comes after these lines
Will only be stated a second time.
One day you'll wake and see
Why there was nothing in my heart to give.
You'll all stand to cry and say,
That there really was nothing left in my soul to save. 

© 2013 Cordelia


Author's Note

Cordelia
Please give me a note or two on how I can possibly improve my writing. Tell me where I got it wrong, and what you think of it. Flame, Hate, Appreciate--but please let me know :)

My Review

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Featured Review

This is a nice piece. But as you noted, I'm only giving you my insight on this line : "Open your heart and let it bleed"----The concept of first 8th line of the 4th stanza is optimism, except that line. Perhaps it could be better if you change the last word (bleed) like (Open your heart and let it be) which sounds freedom.

"So open your eyes and see like me,
Open your heart and let it be
For it's alright, it's finally over,
Someday we'll all get better
You hate it as much as I do now
But trust me later time will allow
All your wounds to be healed,
All your pains to go away"

Hope this would help. But it's up to you if you will consider it. You are still the "driver of your own car". Nice to read your work here. Keep on writing :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cordelia

11 Years Ago

Thank you for that :) I've really, really been confused... and half asleep while I was writing this... read more



Reviews

This is a nice piece. But as you noted, I'm only giving you my insight on this line : "Open your heart and let it bleed"----The concept of first 8th line of the 4th stanza is optimism, except that line. Perhaps it could be better if you change the last word (bleed) like (Open your heart and let it be) which sounds freedom.

"So open your eyes and see like me,
Open your heart and let it be
For it's alright, it's finally over,
Someday we'll all get better
You hate it as much as I do now
But trust me later time will allow
All your wounds to be healed,
All your pains to go away"

Hope this would help. But it's up to you if you will consider it. You are still the "driver of your own car". Nice to read your work here. Keep on writing :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cordelia

11 Years Ago

Thank you for that :) I've really, really been confused... and half asleep while I was writing this... read more

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1 Review
Added on April 12, 2013
Last Updated on May 29, 2013
Tags: life, frustration, letting go
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Author

Cordelia
Cordelia

Baguio City, Philippines



About
There are no words to describe who I am, but there are several which summarize what I am: -a bookworm -nerd -geek -ADHD -simple -loves food -sarcastic -discreet -adorable (right) more..

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