I Can Feel You Close Now

random thoughts, stumbling through them

You always were more to me. Your solid firm demeanor. Your strong, expressionless face.

But I could read you. I always have.

I have always loved you. Is that possible? To have loved, before we met?

It could have been nothing less.

Then you were gone.

Lonely nights, empty rooms. Silence screaming with sadness, echoing with pain. I missed you. Once, and then again. And then again. How many times will my heart have to say goodbye? Caught up in memories, looking towards hope. Is there anything else I could do?

Of course, I wanted you to be free, I always have wanted that. I wanted freedom too. But are we ever truly free? I guess we can’t be, as long as the fear of captivity holds us captive. After all is said and done, is it even freedom we are longing for, or is it something else? Something far away, always far away…

It never comes too close, like destinations cease to be, once we arrive there. I know that now.

We need hope, like the earth needs the sun, after the clouded night. I watch the sky, the line where the air meets the sea, and think… “Is that it?” That little line far away out there. Is infinity really just the curve of the world. Summed up in one straight illusion?

Oh, surround my heart in something….something far more real then any illusions of this world. God created time and space, surely there must be a reason.

As I hold you close, feel your arms around me, holding me, touching me. Held here, secure in your love, I forget everything about freedom, yet I find something else of the most beautiful kind.

My heart, it cannot say what is right. What is best. What is decent, and real, and true. It only knows that it can’t…..it can’t be….without you. Yet I cannot trust my heart.
Is it enough to know that I have hope? To hold my trust in something real?

You always were more to me.

Your smile, your tears.

I can feel you close now.

Reviews

[Cafe Reader]

So touching.

[.]

. brutally beautiful ... but yeah ... hope is all we have ...