To You

Delirious Rantings, Why can't I feel love? Why??? Maybe because nights are so long without you...

My You,



Do you love me?  I felt it once, so real.  That springtime morning.  You looked into my eyes.  Touching me, holding me.  Together, lying there, just lying there... My breathing, synced in time with yours.   A blanket of unspoken passions surrounding us.  Safe in our convictions.  Far from guilt.  Free from everything, so free, held tightly in your arms.


It was real.  Now...is it fading?  You...my blazing sun, now a fading star?  As though burning out, with time.  I'll chase it till I choke on dust and mortality, but is there nothing I can do?  

Helpless I am; like a child.  I need to be held.
I hate it, becoming more despondent with every breath. 


I'm angry, so angry.  Nothing makes sense.  Why are you so far away?  I can't understand this, how can I understand anything?  It locks my mind into a state of numbness,  I cant bother, I cant try.  Pathetic.  I failed this time, I will fail again.  You will fail me.  Over and over it echoes again: "So far away, so far away."  A spinning whirl, as endless galaxies.  I feel delirious, as if I have a fever.  Love sick?  Sick with love.



I watch for blazing comets out my window.
I pretend they're shooting stars....


I'm confused without you. I've gone completely mad.  Is there anything I can do?  Anything?  Don't condemn my soul forever, come back for me, you loved me!  Remember?  You...remember?  As though one needs to be reminded of their love. 

I try telling myself it doesn’t matter.  But it does; I know it does. I cant fool myself, I know I love you, even though I tell myself I'm fine....without....

Should I ignore you?  Should I ignore you as you ignore me?  I feel I should.  I feel I must.  I don't know how I feel....numb?  Numb.  As I did before you.  As I do now...how can I blame you for this, when I felt it before.  But no, there was no blazing pain, no sense of loss before.  





I'm shaking right now as I write. 







I remember you.


Your chin, rough on my neck.
Your breath, on my skin.
My hands, in your hair.

Our kiss.





Another day will come.  Another chance to breathe.
Morning comes but once a day, but it is faithful, every time.  





You'll brush a tear from my sleep tousled face,

And I'll remind you of love, yet again.









Love Always,
Your Girl

Author's Note

I should get some sleep.

Reviews

[Ashley.M.E]

I really like this,
"You looked into my eyes. Touching me, holding me. Together, lying there, just lying there... My breathing, synced in time with yours. A blanket of unspoken passions surrounding us. Safe in our convictions. Far from guilt. Free from everything, so free, held tightly in your arms. "
we all dream of something close to this, or maybe it's just me, though i'm not sure if this is real or not... but if it is no one deserves to just be ignored for no true reason...