I Hate

Time, I hate you, for stealing everything that brings beauty to life

I hate nightmares

I hate lying awake all night
alone and sad

I hate coming home to yelling and violence
smashed windows

I hate being alone at night
I miss you

I hate the ache deep inside reminding me that I'm a mere mortal woman

I hate knowing that sex doesn't = love

I hate not knowing if I'm a virgin or not
How far is too far?

I hate feeling used and dirty
addicted
controlled
abandoned

I hate how hard it is for me to breathe deeply anymore

I hate that I cant sleep

I hate lying here, just lying here
stuck within this darkness
Distanced from love
 and missing you....
Wondering where you are and what you're doing in your world

I hate worrying about money
Being dependent on coffee
A slave to days and years
Hours 8-5


I miss being young

Friends knocking on the door,
Just wanting to play
nothing more
Building woodland forts,
castles of my dreams

I miss the crazy feeling of being young

I miss not knowing rejection

What happened?
Somewhere along the way I traded
cocoa for coffee
Dreams of castles
For captivity inside a concrete prison
Innocence for knowing
Purity for sin

I miss
Being loved


I hate turning older,
We were going to have a story book life
We were going to always run wild and free
As we did through those meadows

Now the only race
Is against the curse of time

I was going to be young forever

What happened?

Author's Note

Just lying awake, thoughts surrounding me...cant sleep -not with those around. :p

Reviews

[SimplyDisastrous]

Brilliant.

[Vin]

I totally loved this! It's all the thoughts that we think in those dark hours and are often too afraid to tell anyone. You really captured the despair that the changes we go through as we get older bring. Also, the way that rarely anything goes as we hoped it would when we are young. Superb! Well done!

-Beth