Conditions of Worth

When love becomes tainted with unrealistic expectations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The winter wind sends shivers down my back,

Icy thoughts leave me numb inside.

Suffering the unspoken inside my heart.

It reminds me that I am real, but leaves little other comfort to my shattered soul.

 

 

 

 

You put me on a pedestal.

Though the only place I wanted to be

was close to you.

 

 

You thought of me as perfection.

But you didn’t see, I have so many mistakes.

Please, don't become yet another of mine.

 

 

You took all I had.

And it wasn’t enough

Delusions of adequacy cannot create me into something that I am not.

 

 

 

 

You told me I was becoming too much for your life,

That you thought about me more then you should,

That your world had begun to center on me,

 

You said you had begun to worship me...

 

And it scared me.

 

 

 

I needed you.

Is it wrong to have felt so complete in your arms?

 

 

I gave myself to you,

Are you throwing me away?

 

 

I'm vulnerable and weak, certainly not anything to be worshiped!

Please, can you simply love me? For who I am?

 

I’m just a girl.

 

 

 

If I were a sphinx or a siren I could have lured you to me,

But heartlessly tearing your soul from you is not something I can do.

 

If I were an illusion I would be beautiful from a distance, but I could never be held or touched.

 

Instead, proof of my humanity screams out with everything I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am not above anything else in the universe,

I just wanted to be the only girl in yours.

 

 

Worship doesn’t belong to me,

but your deepest secrets do.

 

 

You told me once that I was like a channel that helped you to see God. 

If that is all that I was to you, I will be happy in this:

That I became more

Then if I’d never known you at all.

 

Falling in love with delusions will never bring you satisfaction; the human heart desperately forever craves something more…

 

l never wanted to be worshiped,

 

Only loved.

 

 

I am not a god,

 

I’m just a girl.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I hate to add descriptions with poems and writings because I believe that they should be self exclamatory, but I just wanted to add this as is something that's so close to my heart today. No one should place another person on a level with God, and finding out you are guilty of something like this is very a serious thought. It attempts to drag God down to a level He isn't on, and makes unrealistic demands on the person being elevated, it attempts to force them to become almost a perfect and otherworldly creature, something no one should have to try to obtain, as it will always end in a tragic failure. This happens in relationships as seem when people fail to live up to the subconscious standards imposed on them. To love someone is the most wonderful thing, but to love and worship someone for something they are not is a tragedy.