Dark

I know I said I wouldn't post any excerpts, but technically this isn't from the book. It's associated with the main character, though.

The darkness ravages

It twirls and twists and tires not

Through trials of pain and angst

I sit and wait and shiver.

 

But light and warmth do eventually come

As I knew they always would.

My pain was gone, the angst no more

And I stand and laugh and twitter.

 

But the warmth is stolen

And my light is gone,

And all at once

My tremors turn to screams.

 

My mind is slipping

My sanity wiped away. 

The tremors return, violently now.

Soon the dark will steal my dreams.

My light won't return,

My muse won't recover,

And soon my brain is muddled

With thoughts of hate and pain and love.

Author's Note

How is the flow? I'm not to sure about it...

Reviews

[Maxine]

This is really really lovely! It flows very nicely, and I love how the last lines in the first and second verse resonate in each other! Like a melody!
The only part that really stopped me was "Drifting slowly away, And leaving me with my thoughts." Perhaps you could find a way to phrase that last bit a little different so it rings together better?

[LightenUp.]

Thanks for your help! Now that you mention it, I do notice those lines are a bit choppy. Thanks!

[Terohime]

You did well on this poem, the flow was great, and the words held deep meaning. I enjoyed the read keep up the good work. Looking foreword to reading more from you.
~Your friend Res

[LightenUp.]

Thank you! That really does mean a lot to me. :)

[Terohime]

anytime
~Res