Eli

This is a character in one of my books. (Haven't posted chapter one of that book, but I will soon)

Eli

Eli's hair is

black ink splattered across a crisp, white page.

His eyes are

green toxin sliding down your throat

causing all of your organs to collapse.

His laughter is dark and savage,

like mocking crows on a rainy Sunday.

And his heart holds only one: Rosaria.

Eli's personality is kryptonite

to everyone else around him

with a matching temper

that is a time bomb ticked down to .5 seconds.

His fangs are only comparable to diamonds:

incredibly strong and perfection.

His overcoat is

a cold blanket fashioned from pure darkness

that is in complete contrast to his stark white skin.

 

And where would this creature be without

strength no living thing could match?

Or speed only a jet plane could beat?

Or as indestructible as an army tank

reinforced with ten extra layers of steel?

Well, it's a good thing I granted him that.

Where would the world be without it?

He is tethered to sanity by  

a single thread of spider's silk

and he has been spreading terror on this earth

like a wildfire burning out of control in mid July

since the early 1200s.

So just remember:

when you wake up screaming

in the middle of the night,

that at least I took the time to warn you.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I made this as a portrait poem based off of one of my characters. Can you picture him?

Reviews

[I am renee]

thats deep and really awesome :)

[:-)]

Ooh! Really good imagery and gives me a great picture of this character. Totally love this.

My dog's name is Eli, and I think he's retarded. Just an FYI. xD

[RachelReaper]

your randomness is hysterical XD

[:-)]

Haha, sorry. I just HAD to say it, though.

[Craba]

interesting read, but good. enjoyed

[Dr. Wood ?]

I can picture him because you painted him so well..A mixture of Death..and fear...of Greed...and Hate.....HE is all around us

[Boy of the red]

he sounds like a monster of gods. im interested to read how he will be. i love the description in the poem and the way it is written. good job

[Wakeofahero]

He sounds like a pretty awesome character. Well done, I'd like to read a chapter!

[Pax]

seems this is really interesting character my friend...a mysterious person...

[RachelReaper]

yeah, Eli's a good friend of mine

[Pax]

did you post the book?

[RachelReaper]

eh, not yet, but I will soon. I't actually more of a short story

[Pax]

it's great i like short story more...than longer one....I'll be waitng to read it..

[Caradoc]

Greetings from the host of the contest "Of Blood and Eternity".

Well, Eli certainly sounds vampiric enough. Early twelve hundreds eh? I'm no expert but the amount of power you ascribe to him seems only fitting of a vampire at least ten times Eli's age. Relatively speaking, a vampire of around 800 years is powerful, something to be wary of, but jet plane fast and tank strong? He sounds invincible and that is...boring. Vampires have weaknesses to make them interesting.

That was my two cents on the nature of this vampire. The poem itself isn't bad. It meets the criteria of my contest and has enough undead bloodsucker in it to make it interesting.

Thanks for entering my contest.

-Caradoc

[Helen Crutchett]

Eli is a scary character alright! I think I saw him in my dreams last night! Good job, descriptive and scary!

[RachelReaper]

hehehehe, thank you! And yes, he has a habit of appearing in my dreams as well...