Why I Was Kicked out of Twilight

another parody-like thingy

Why I Was Kicked Out of Twilight

1. Telling Bella, "Wow, you look like death, when's the baby due?" After she'd already had her baby and changed into a vampire.

2. Slapping Alice in the face and asking if she "saw that one coming".

3. Loudly thinking about Bella and Jacob makin' puppies around Edward until he ran from the room crying.

4. Asking Bella why she bothered marrying a hundred and nine year old virgin.

5. Asking Jacob why he bothered falling in love with a girl that was obviously the most awkward, klutzy thing ever to walk the universe with the inability to close her mouth over her buck teeth, and then why he fell in love with her infant daughter, diagnosing him with a case of raging pedophilia.  

6. Telling Victoria she's a soulless ginger with a bubblegum face.

7. Making a video of Edward and Bella super-sparkly-vamped out-animal drinking in the woods, posting it on YouTube, and calling it, "A New Way to Hunt".  

8. Making constant blond jokes around Rosalie, such as, "What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the tab and throw it back! *Mee-hawhawhaw!*"

9. Hosting an annual paper-cut party just for Jasper... wondering afterwards if that was going too far...

10. Throwing a baby shower for Bella, buying all red balloons with little plastic devil horns on the top that say "Demonoid", and playing Marilyn Manson CDs the whole time.

Author's Note

tell me what you thought. I think its worthy to note that I actually love Twilight, which is what made this all the more necessary.

Reviews

[Death]

xD oh my gosh. This is hilarious. This is why you're my friend

[RachelReaper]

XD shmanks

[InsanityWriter]

XD THIS. IS. AWESOME. ;) Good to know Twilight fans have a sense of humor concerning this sort of thing. I'm not a fan myself, but you have my respect. (:

[RachelReaper]

:)

[LunarSong]

Okay, I do love the slapping Alice and asking her if she saw that coming :)

[RachelReaper]

lol thanks for the review :)

[Daydreamer54]

That was hilarious! XD

[Lonely Islander]

If you are sad and you know it, view this piece (clap!clap!).:-):-):-D.

[RachelReaper]

thanks for the review islander

[Seanh12]

This is great and so funnier I love it, I love the points 1. Telling Bella, "Wow, you look like death, when's the baby due?" After she'd already had her baby and changed into a vampire, . Making a video of Edward and Bella super-sparkly-vamped out-animal drinking in the woods, posting it on YouTube, and calling it, "A New Way to Hunt"/ and . Making constant blond jokes around Rosalie, such as, "What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the tab and throw it back! *Mee-hawhawhaw!*". I love Twilight as well. What a great write, thank yyou so much for sending it to me.

[RachelReaper]

:)

[marie]

this is me still laughing five min later great job!! i loved it:)

[Ethale Captor]

That is hilarious, loved it.

[Horizon K.]

Very funny.. Liked #2,3,4 the best! Can you do Hunger Games book 3? Ha!

[Rhianne Ney]

This is funny. This really shows how to annoy everybody in Twilight~!
100/100