Suffer In Silence

Something I thought of and liked

Suffer In Silence

Plaster a paper smile

On my blue lips

Don't let them see we're

A step away from a slip

Although my bones

May shatter and break

You'll never shake

My golden faith

That everything will be okay

 

Let's pretend for a second

That this makes us stronger

As the days skip past

And we're growing weaker

Doubled over with hunger

Suffer in silence

Because in the end

No one really gives a damn

If you're dying or broken  

 

Don't show your

Fluttering heart is

Shuttering to a stop

Or you're gasping for breath

Never to breathe again

The last thing we need

Is to fuel Fate's fire

And burn it higher

Until we're consumed by the wildfire

 

We'll bleed out

Where no one can

Hear our shouts

But we will not beg

There is no mercy for the dead

I won't bow down

To this furious red pain

Because I refuse

To ever lose to

Life's starvation game

 

Author's Note

please tell me what you think of this i think it is one of my better poems but I would appreciate feedback

Reviews

[Ethale Captor]

Excellent piece, certainly something that must be spread around to the ears of those who can make a difference, because this is where it starts. Absolutely amazing.

[RachelReaper]

:)

[Phantom.Bite]

I really love the word play :) It is strong, like you are down at the point of breaking and you push yourself up to keep going strong :) I hope you enter more of my contests.

[RachelReaper]

thank you, and i will

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

Suffer in Silence
(Review for Change the World Competition) You have captured a lot of emotion and honesty in these lines. There is also lots of room for the reader to interpret to their own perceptions, This means you could have a different journey depending on your mode each time you read this. Great work

[RachelReaper]

thank you

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

There is no mercy for the dead, very disturbing thought. Great piece.

[RachelReaper]

thank you!

[ForeverNever]

"Plaster a paper smile
On my blue lips
Don't let them see we're
A step away from a slip"
Unstability...a little something present in all of us. it's the strong ones who can pretend it doesn't exist and go about their lives and day. Well done love.

[RachelReaper]

thank you.

[David the writer]

Here's the only piece of advice I can give you on this one. Finishing the rest of a line in the next gets a really weird and fucky flow. It works in erotica because it's like you're taking breaths, BUT this is clearly NOT an erotica.

Good job, I liked it a lot!

[Felecia]

I'm really starting to like your writing, Rachel ahaha, I'm going to have to start going threw it and picking out my favourites ;) (I suppose I should do that with a lot of people...)
Anyway, amazing poem, greating writing!

[RachelReaper]

thank you so much

[Felecia]

you're welcome :)

[Rob Santana]

wow Rachel,you are one talented writer.Well done,creative to the max!!!!

[RachelReaper]

thank you :)

[AlwaysCasey]

this is really good!

[Kurera]

A strong will is good, as long as you never keep your suffering inside you forever. It's not good, trust me. Great play of words.

[RachelReaper]

thank you, and... I know.