Part two: Rycel

chapter 1, but you should read the prologue first

 

Rycel

   My turn? Sweet!

   Well, it would be sweet if I wasn't crammed in the back seat of a red Buggy with Harler and Harler's new pet rabbit practically sitting on me, Junia passenger-seat driving from shotgun, and Kalilee's starting to get pissed.  We're still getting used to our human appearances and hiding our wings in our clothes. After all, we just came down seven hours ago. It took a few minutes for me and Junia to rewire the Bug, but here we are. On the road again. Which, sorry to tell you, means all of you are in danger. But look on the bright side! At least you have us!

   "Aren't you my cutie? Yes you are, yes you are my cutie, little Cutie." Harler cooed to the brown bunny resting on her lap, her red waves of hair fell into the bunny's face and made Cutie sneeze. That made her Minney Mouse voice come out even more and her green eyes held absolute adoration for her bunny. Why am I always the one who has to sit next to the petite angel warrior with an obsession for rabbits?

   "We were supposed to turn there." Junia pointed her pale, slender finger at a street called "Norway".

   "Am I driving or are you?" Kalilee snapped. We had all gotten a bit cranky from the six hour drive with no breaks.

   "How far is it to Ocean City?" I asked, to change the subject.

   "About two hours." Junia said over her shoulder and Harler groaned.

   "Now, now," I said, shaking my finger at Harler, "Don't be a whiny bunny." She shot me a mini-glare, but I laughed. She was just too fun to mess around with to resist.  

   "Can we stop? I want to buy Cutie a snack." Harler whined again, Kalilee and Junia answered, "No." at the same time. I had to agree, the sooner we got to our destination, the better. Harler cuddled her bunny and pouted, which at least meant she wasn't going to be talking to Cutie in a voice that sounded infused with helium.

   "Why did you get another rabbit? You have an entire mansion of them in Minnesota with ten paid workers just to take care of them all." I asked. I still thought it was pretty funny, but sadly I wasn't stretching the truth about the bunny mansion.       

   "What I would like to know is how you got another bunny without us noticing." Kalilee mumbled.

   "Do you know how many bunnies there are out there without a home? I did Cutie a favor by rescuing him." Harler said, "Isn't that right, Cutie?"

   "Yeah, like how you rescued Fluffy, Nova, Snowflake, Starla, and Daisy..." Junia said.

   "The list goes on and on." I agreed, but was mainly joking. If a bunny mansion made her happy, then a bunny mansion made her happy. 

   "My bunnies are fine!" Harler exclaimed defensively, so we let it rest.

   Fun group, huh?  

   Junia rolled her eyes, which is seriously a lot scarier than it sounds when Junia rolls her eyes or glares.

   First off, Junia has extremely pale skin with pin-straight platinum hair (that she dyes with green and blue highlights when she's on Earth, she'll probably do that later today), but she has these really, really pale blue eyes that look like they're almost white with golden flecks in them. I think humans have to have contacts to get their eyes that color.

   But I'm not too jealous. I have defined curves, lightly tanned skin, hazel eyes, and caramel brown hair that falls down in curly tendrils that frame my face. Not to mention, I really like to overdress... but I was only wearing a pale pink sundress for now.

   Kalilee suddenly pulls off the main road to a Wal-Mart.  

   "Kally? Is there a reason you have a dire need to go to a department store?" I asked, confused.

   Kalilee takes a minute to park the Bug in a spot really close to the front door, "Yes. We all need a break or we're going to explode in this tiny-a*s car. Then we'll discuss a..." She looked around to see a mom pushing her baby in a stroller nearby, "I mean, our next course of action." She finishes, not wanting to somehow be overheard.

   I smiled, "You mean some real action."

   "Don't draw your scythe yet." Kalilee said as we got out of the car. She was referring to the weapon hand- crafted for me that I could draw out by willpower or if darkness was lurking around, all thanks to Gabriel's blacksmith.Did I mention the blacksmith was cute? Off topic, I know, but he is.

   Harler reached to the back seat to put Cutie in her black purse.

   "You're going to take him in a store?" Junia asked.

   "I don't think the Wal-Mart people like that." I warned.

   "The Wal-Mart people can put it in their juice box and suck on it." Harler replied matter-of-factly and petted Cutie's little, pink nose. Okay, Cutie was pretty cute, but still.

   "Rycel, there's no point. You know she's never going to see reason." Kalilee said, and tightened her blond ponytail.

   "Have to try." I said with a shrug. Harler seemed oblivious to our comments on her sanity, as she was so wrapped up in her new friend.  

   Junia was already a few steps ahead and I jogged a few paces to catch up with her. Kalilee trailed behind with Harler (who was trying to keep Cutie from jumping out of her purse).

   "You alright?" I asked. Junia was seven inches taller than me at six foot two, and her platform boots made her tower over people even more.

   "I'm just tired." She responded. Typical Junia answer.

   "No worries, I just think Barbie's ponytail was a little too tight." I joked and she giggled.

   "I can obviously hear you!" Kalilee said five steps behind us. I simply smiled and waved at her. No way could she catch me in those high heels. Not to mention, my gift is superhuman speed.   

Author's Note

Rycel's POV can be a drastic change from Junia's, but that's what i wanted to happen, to individualize them. What did you think of this chapter?

Reviews

[AleyshaRosa]

Disregarding my last comment on chapter 1, I really like it, I appreciate how you defined separate characters so quickly in the story. Double koodoos if you can upkeep!
Liking it better as chapters roll on

[Taylor H.]

Well, it would be sweet if I wasn't crammed in a red Buggy with Harler and her new pet rabbit practically sitting on my lap in the back seat, ----I think this sentence would sound better if you wrote it: Well, it would be sweet if I wasn't crammed in the back seat of a red Buggy with Harler and her new pet rabbit practically sitting on my lap.

Junia back-seat driving from shotgun----that would be passenger driving lol

Which, sorry to tell you, means all of you are in danger. But look on the bright side! At least you have us!-----should you be talking directly to the audience in present tense? I mean you can if you want, just not my cup of tea.

Harler cooed to the brown bunny resting on her lap-----I thought the bunny was in the other girl's lap?

), but she has these really, really pale blue eyes that look like they're almost white with golden flecks in them.-----take out the word these. also, If shes albino she would have pink eyes, not blue. If shes just really pale than that would work

tendrils that frame my heart shaped face. ----I dont think people think of their face shape when they describe themselves. I also feel you could work in the descriptions a lot smoother and a lot sooner in the story by just being nonchalant and saying things for us to pick up on.

Great story. I thought this was very interesting and I cant wait to read more.

[RachelReaper]

you have no idea how much I appreciated that comment, seriously, it meant a lot. I went back to fix some of the things you talked about, and I'm working on more changes, too. Thanks!!!

[Taylor H.]

You are very welcome :) Im glad to help

[Vincent]

by the way, the term is "riding shotgun." it doesn't matter if it's called "being a passenger" or whatever, " riding shotgun" is the slang term.

[Taylor H.]

But they were saying they were the equivilant to a back seat driver but in the passenger seat. (As in they were telling the driver how to drive from the passenger seat) I just changed it

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

I like the description of each character and I love some specific lines you used that were creative such as:
"in a voice that sounded infused with helium"
"I just think Barbie's ponytail was a little too tight"

So far so good. :)

[Ella]

I like it, but I have a suggestion, if you wanted the reader to get more of a sense who Rycel is, don't have your other characters talking so much xD personally I would like to see what she is thinking, I am getting a good sense for a lot of other characters, but not Rycel, all I know it she seems like a person easily annoyed, but stays calms for the others.
Other than that, it's good.

[RachelReaper]

I try to make rycel as the more calm, in-between one, the one that's kind of like the peace-keeper for the group, but if you keep reading, you'll see that more later on.

[Ella]

alright