War

Sad poem

War

Can you please

Explain to me

When it all

Went to hell

When we stopped

Caring and sharing

For each other?

We're always attacking

Cat scratching,

Loud yelling

Never stopping

For fear we would

Give in to all our sorrow

Was all of our

Love just borrowed?

Never really ours

Never really yours

Never really mine

How is that fair?

Where is our share?

When did it start?

Where will it end?

Do we really expend

So much energy

Trying to get even?

Are we ever even?

Or are we beaten

And cheated

And defeated?

Aren't we tired

Of this war?

Aren't we sick of

Coming back for more?

When all it is

Is an uneven score

Never to be settled

But don't get me wrong

I'll never go along

And surrender

Never be a white flag holder

I'll go as long

As you can

I'll never show

A weakness

For your ego

This will go on forever

Even though I wish

We had never

Gone to such

A hard core

Kind of heartless gore

That is our

War

 

Author's Note

This isn't about me, but about my uncle and ex-aunt who have had a horrible divorce. It meant a lot to me, because I went to stay with my uncle in FL and I heard him talking about how my ex-aunt was effecting my two cousins and I wanted to wanted to to write this as sort of in my uncle's point of view. What do you guys think of it? Please review.

Reviews

[Tex]

this is a VERY mature write. you have stepped outside your self and imagined how someone else feels... I cannot tell you how strong this is. this write is like someone in their mid 20s or older.... a VERY well done from me.

100/100

[RachelReaper]

thank you so much!

[Mary]

we can't solve our personal wars, yet we pray for world peace. Ha! it begins when we decide to be peaceful, and make it a priority in our lives.

[The Invisible Girl]

Very powerful and moving poem! Great job! 100/100

[RachelReaper]

thanks :)

[WingsToFly]

A thoughtful writing. Nice job.

[Howard Blacklove]

I think this is a very powerful piece especially since it comes from such a personal place. I think you related the feeling and ugliness of war to the emotional conflict of a divorce very well. I feel like anyone who is going through that type of situation could really benefit emotionally from your poem as it is easy to relate to, flows well and is compared to something we all know about ; war. This is def my favorite line;
Are we ever even?
Or are we beaten
And cheated
And defeated?
Aren't we tired
Of this war?
Aren't we sick of
Coming back for more?

Great job Rachel.

[RachelReaper]

thank you that.

[Caradoc]

This is a good piece.

Divorces can and often are, very ugly. And the thing is, when two people get divorced, it's NEVER about just the two of them. Both sides of the family get drawn in and it all goes to hell from there. If there are children? F**k, you can be sure that their lives are going to be screwed up from that point on. Divorce is one of those things worse than death in my opinion because the damage they cause is both longer lasting and all consuming. It sets everyone against each other, a self-contained little civil war.

Ahem. Sorry for the mini-rant. I have strong feelings about divorce. Good poem though. Thanks for sharing.

[RachelReaper]

no, have strong feelings about it, too, believe me. Thank you for your time.

[Charlotte Acrobat]

Excellent. The thing has a rhythm, too. Let someone compose it.

[Harley (arbiter)]

This can go for a lotta different situations. You write it nicely and I liked it. These things can destroy families. I wish you luck and that all goes well

[Felecia]

For a second I didn't know this was about an divorce, then I read the lines "This will go on forever even though I wish we had never gone to such a hard core kind of heartless gore that is our war" Then i figured it was a terrible break up. This is great poem, it's incredible how you can make a poem out of the things your uncle explained to you about the divorce. Divorces can be very hard on not only the two who got divorced, but their children and family members as well.
All in all, very well done poem.

[RachelReaper]

thank you very much

[paradoxical]

I haven't seen a better description of a bad divorce than this. "I'll go as long as you can I'll never show a weakness for your ego" really got to me. As a child of divorced parents it brought back some memories, and it also made me realize that we children of divorce tend to carry around that same attitude. Whether that's a good thing or bad thing, depends, I guess.