I am the doctor

This is a reflective piece about the experience of a doctor on both sides of the patient bed.

I am the doctor; the doctor is me.

Here lies the patient; all I see.

I am the doctor; celestial being,

Touching lives, hands healing.

 

A knight of the ward; my kingdom.

With script prepared; brilliance heralding.

Graciously lowering to first white-gowned body

Eagerly awaiting, as I start talking:

 

“I am the doctor, what brought you in today?

For heart failure; I give water tablets, be on your merry way!

Wait, before you go, let me ask you some questions.

Do you smoke or drink at all? Well don’t, that’s my suggestion.

 

Have you suffered from this before?

Chest pain? Shortness of breath? Please, tell me more!

What pills are you taking? How often and how many?

Do heart problems ever run in your family?”

 

Machines beep, oxygen pumps, blood is drawn.

My utopia, so omnipotent, the reigning champion.

In bay 5, I see Pneumonia, upping their Gentamicin

Bay 6 has become septic; I insert the venflon.

 

Armed with my stethoscope; a badge of honour,

hand gel too; a worthy protector.

SEWS chart calls; I document findings

I am the doctor; so profoundly enlightening.

 

Wounded soldiers, lie in each bed

Misery beholds them, their hearts full of lead

Angelically 10 minutes; all I can give them,

My golden halo; a world of difference.

 

Medical school, the biggest honour of my youth.

My brain and I: a team, an unstoppable truth.

Paddling the tributaries of my cerebral cortex

a child playing free on nature’s doorstop.

 

My heart �" a vivacious pump, welding blood through arteries

Each corpuscle; little worker bees in a full proof factory

My body is a church, each command I will obey

Such worship, it would never betray.

 

I am the doctor, this just isn’t fair

This monster brutally engorging; my body its lair.

Rapidly roaring, blazing inferno in my insides

An unchained demon chronically resides.

 

A fiery ball of cells vying for domination of my world

Salacious but obliterating, an unconquerable surge

Leukaemia they call it; a cancer by trade

My body is violated as this demon invades

 

My body so deceiving; an unforgiving beast

Savagely turning my insides into a hazy pink mist

My autonomy, now a battle uphill

Is this what it’s like to be held against your will?

 

Here lies the patient; the patient is me

As I lie in this bed; doctors are all I see.

Chained in my cage; attached to these wires,

and IV drip stand, what a charismatic liar.

 

Chemotoxic drugs, a blaze of fire

Shooting into my veins, a deceitful killer.

I retch heroically at such hideous torture

As a doctor; simply I brave the horror.

 

This pale hospital gown smothering, so thin and cold

Callously snatching my identity, the patient is now my role.

No longer a knight of the ward, simply just a pawn

The queen’s cruel conquer rages on.

 

Here lies the disease; the disease is me

A captive, a carcass, no longer free

In winter’s wasteland, an animal in a zoo

Doctors pleasurably applaud as I perform their show.

 

A plaything, a puppet; they are pulling the strings

Shoving me into MRI scanners, I hear the audience clapping

How about another X-ray, that will really get the crowd going

Step right up to see the circus freak, his heart has started slowing!

 

Your soul beckons spindling fingers

To poke and prod, an invasive linger

I relished the feeling; holding such great power

Brave light shines through the mirror of a coward

 

Halos are shattered; reality comes crashing through the air

This is a lie; there are no angels here.

Simply just doctors; just people you might even say….

But through fear and fragility: are we not all the same?

Author's Note

This was actually written by my sister who is currently at university studying medicine. She has written several reflective pieces like this and I know she won't share or publish them but I think they are too good to go unshared! Any feedback welcome.