Foreseeing a Lonely Life

This poem is about my PTSD and its affect on my affection towards the male gender. It's hard thinking about the future I've always felt was natural and realizing that my fears might hold me back.

Foreseeing a Lonely Life

From the beginning I imagined a life full of love

I had a husband in mind and perhaps a few kids

With dreams of growing old, the love of my life next to me

Behind closed eyes, the idea seemed so natural

But the reality I dream of differs from the reality I live

Even the pure idea of affection can be tainted with distress

The touch of another awakens a crippling fear

The fantasy of eternal love consumed by tribulation

Unwavering pain foreshadows a solitary romance

To this destiny I am bound, with little hope of retaliation

But maybe, he will come with the magic to restore my dreams

Bringing back the bliss I missed so dearly

And open the doors that closed with Satan’s trick

Maybe he is the one from my naïve wishes

Or he moves on, becoming the turning point of my past

But if he arrives baring old wishes, none else matters

With proof that another’s touch can heal instead of hurt

Still it seems childish to believe pain and bliss can come from the same

So I accept the inevitable instead of pursuing a potentially painful lie

But still, it would be the greatest gift to meet this he of my fantasy

Reviews

[Ashwin Shanker]

I really liked this poem. It articulates the feelings really well.. A great write... 100/100

[Gaurav]

What a beautiful verse - it seems childish to believe pain and bliss can come from the same. Though it is very mature to think that pain and happiness are the aspects of same coin. I love this poem. Full of hope despite sad circumstances.

[alankillsmonsters]

I sense a pattern in your writing, i read a few and all were inclined towards fear or i could say underlying pain.
I can really relate to them,
I love all of them.
Never stop writing.

[??????]

I can understand this:) Great write:)

[Oydrin]

This is one brave piece of literature. I hope you find that healing Ciara. Reality and beauty seldom mix, but I believe poems like this one make it a more often possibility. :)

[fergul]

Keep it as fantasy, reality inevitably sucks.

fergul