Migrant Bird Sonnet

This work is an attenpt to highlight the simmilarities and differences in human reaction to bird migration vs. farm worker immigrants in the US.

 

Calliope, calliope,

Your rubies at your throat;

What rare and perfect jewelry

You carry as your tote.

As you repair last year’s small nest

The Columbines I‘ll plant;

You’ll cross undocumented,

Long distance immigrant.

Extracting nectar, working fields

Without government permission,

To stow away your sweetened yield

Then cross without suspicion.

Oh, North American wonder, a southern land reflection,

Why can’t we awe the miracle of your determination?

Reviews

[Emily Elizabeth]

This is simply wonderful!
I really enjoyed this. You write so professionally and eloquently and yet this poem is filled with warmth. It's enjoyable and engaging, and the flow and structure of the poem helped reinforce the power and poetry behind your words. I loved the double-meaning of the theme of immigrants, it's very interesting and very true. The connection between the two is very clever. The rhyming was nice and taut and the whole thing had a charm and essence to it. Thanks for sharing such an endearing piece!

[Adela Muresan]

How lovely :) .
Nature's celebration trough the poetic description of the little bird, is simply delightful!
The joke about government permission, differences this piece from the usual nature-poetry.

A.M.

[bailish]

With your note at the top, this was a pleasure to read. Had you not revealed the metaphor, I undoubtedly would have missed it. Thank you for a truly enjoyable piece.

[[untitled]]

This is absolutely brilliant in it's metaphor and skilfully written. Birds are one of my great loves. You have crafted a beautiful, joyful and wise piece.

[Mysty Rayn]

Beautiful. A joy to read.

[Emily Rose]

Ah, this is wonderful! You do a great job lacing the bird's habits with the comparison to the immigrant workers - the poem has a vast amount of meaning and you execute it quite well! The description of the bird is so pretty and wonderfully metaphorical, too!

It's strange to critique a published poet, but I hope you don't mind if I do: I found a few anomalies in the rhythm. The line "long-distance immigrant" doesn't quite match up the rhythm of "the Columbines I'll plant," although all you have to do to even this out is add and unstressed syllable to the beginning of the line (I would recommend simply adding "A" to the beginning of the line: "A long-distance immigrant")

The line "without government permission" also breaks the rhythm of the poem and messes with its flow: the stresses are strange and there are more syllables than you've used in those lines before. The jarring rhythm is strange and a little disheartening, since it drives home the idea of the bird as immigrant worker. Perhaps you could substitute "without" for "sans?" (This is the French for "without," but it's work its way into mainstream American culture, so people will still know what you mean.) I think that would fix the jarring rhythm of the line and redistribute the stresses without changing it too much. It is, of course, your call, though! :-)

This is quite impressive and I look forward to reading more of your work!

[C.T. Bailey]

Lid,
I loved this work from the moment I first saw it. There is much to be learned from our avian friends...their diligence and beauty, seasoned with grace. And what metaphor you have used in this piece. The determination of this ruby throated is indeed admirable. If this then warrants admiration, then why do we seek to deter the greatest of God's creation from the same? Well done Sis!
Todd

[Wanda S. Paryla]

Great work, and wonderfully romantic regardless! Very skillfully written and what a crafty idea, the hidden comparison of immigrating birds and people.

[Katherine Wyatt]

Absolutely delightful..I have enjoyed the birds so much this year..and your poem reminds me of how inspiring they really are and how they travel so far. Wonderful write AND I really enjoyed it!