Becoming

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
But who's the fool come number three?
An ocean of emotions, waves of feelings crashing on the shore.
A game to be played, but who shows the least remorse?
My heart has started to harden, turn to icy black.
My face tells of nothing, but my eyes say what my mouth lacks.
Deep inside their dark irises, lies the truth of untold tales.
A dark and sinister past that is only just beginning to unveil.
Masked by years of experience, hidden by scores of pain.
The smile I wear on my face, I only wear in vain.
And if the truth were to be revealed, many would be hurt.
For bottled up pain turns anyone to the worst.
I tried to let people in, only for me to be deceived.
I was played countless times by those who only used me.
And even though I struggled to find someone to be close to,
It only lead to disaster as I found out the ugly truth.
No matter what face I wear, whether it's real or not.
Somewhere, someone, is going to find that little flaw.
And then I started to realize, that it doesn't matter anymore.
Human connection is something I will never have to adore.
I tried too hard to be someone I could never be,
And cast aside when I showed them the real me.
And that's when it hit me, and I started to know
It's not the connection that I needed to grow.
But finally, after all the tears, I've drowned.
After all the cuts, blood still runs down.
The distance between us is hurting, my heart seared.
But the closeness was what really killed me, what I really feared.