I Grasp What You Breathe Out

The passion they had--flickering: thoughts of separation.

Memories they made--lingering: misplaced indignation.

The promise they made on that faithful night

Was sealed with a kiss, sheathed in lies.

She was his damsel and he was her knight;

They had each other, their future was bright.

They caved in to pleasure, covered with lust;

they weren't ashamed, they had His facade.

Their lives filled with doubts, to fate they entrust;

Consumed with desire, savored every thrust.

Corpses of her past began to arise;

Goddess so dainty, her beauty--a fraud.

Her love was flawed; he found her disguise.

Nevertheless, he would still sing her laud.

Their moments passed and he felt the distance;

She left a message, "my world is broad."

Though he was alone, kept his appearance;

Their love dissolved with no interference.

Her shadow still haunts him, he's all alone.

His heart, she shattered; He was unwise.

Through arts and his writings, he shall atone;

The life he lead, he will never condone.

The memories they made--flickering: thoughts of separation.

The passion they had--lingering: misplaced indignation.



Reviews

[SG]

This is amazing!I kept thinking this is great!

[BeeBev]

Another very emotional poem. Quite chilling love story really liked it.

[ANTO]

Yeah, I agree with Kasey - framing the poem with the two lines she referred to is a brilliant device idea. Such is the way of love - fleeting and very much 'of the moment'. Your knight and damsel reference might be a bit sarcastic ? If she was the damsel then she wouldn't have left him - perhaps the roles were reversed at some point in the relationship and he was the more in distress at the end but still able to put up a front of sorts. a heartbreaking wee write PF - enjoyable and lovely imagery but heartbreaking all the same. Thanks for the RR.
:))

[Deepika]

Very well written!
"She was his damsel and he was her knight;"
"Her love was flawed; he found her disguise."
Excellent lines and deep emotions!

[Kasey Miriam]

It's a beautiful poem of heart break. The stanzas are done very well and the rhyme is effortless and not forced anywhere. I like how you began and ended with the same two lines. It really pulls the poem together.

[Jamestown]

Very well written, the stanza was full and flowing, thanks for sharing.

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

A very truthful, romantic yet haunting piece. You sum everything that love is in this piece. I like it has a slight fantasy feel to it. Awesome job.