The first love

Once upon at time
There was a young woman who loved a man he was her first love she was so happy with him that she did not know what to do.

The young woman gladly shared herself with him one day the happiness came down he was using drugs the young woman tried to talk to him but w as scared to make him angry.

The couple were together out of love she wanted him So much but felt a cold from him yet he said he loved her. One day he got angered and threw a lawn chair across the way and locked his bathroom door and did not let her in to talk even when she asked him to so she sat and cried silently to herself until she went home.

The young woman threatened to leave him but he begged her to stay with him and out of the hope he would change she gladly ran back to him. That did not last long a month later they were fighting yet again.

The young woman had a shifty family life but wanted the family to be happy with the new changes the man did not like a family member for good reasons yet the woman wanted her family to be happy too in hopes her family life would improve.

The man refused to come over to her house anymore and glared at her family once he did she told him she was leaving him he begged her to stay the young woman cried but left him that night for she needed her family more than him even though the new members soon left after that which made the young woman happy she knew she still made the do right choice.

Reviews

[JC]

I like how real and down to earth your writing is, I think of movies like the coal miners daughter when reading this, I feel your soul and your heartache and your struggles and through it all there is always hope.

from a technical view the sentences need some structure to keep from running on...if you put this in a poetic context I think it would work great that way, but as a story you need some punctuation between thoughts and sentences. great job.

[Kamari's]

Yes sometimes when I feel a story I just run with it