Flower blossom

You've got a great group of characters going. It is vital for your writing to remember to show and not tell. You told be about how the group fits together and their different passions; now go back as show me. Show me Chloe's artistic side by having her paint and dance in a unique way. Show me Rozalynn's bravery. Show me Estelle's carefully laid out plans. Show me why Mason and Estelle love each other.

Show means write out the scene. Don't tell me Rozalynn died. If you aren't comfortable with writing the death scene - then write her friends getting the news - how they felt - if they needed to sit down - if someone offered them a glass of water.

In the last chapter (The Group of Five) - you do show and not tell when they bury the treasures together. Now try to make the rest of the chapters like your last chapter.

I enjoyed how you linked each character with their treasure.

Keep at it :)

Posted 10 Years Ago