A Place of Closure

Wrote in memory of my brother's funeral.

As I enter the location of lost faces and drained souls that were stained with tear marks on their cheeks, it was an instant reminder that I was attending a funeral. It appeared as a sea of black dressed people: reminding me of an old black and white film.

The smell of flowers that are a sign of sympathy overwhelmed me. Their beauty was killed with the replacement of emptiness. Their cheerful normality was washed away with bitter things that mock your pain. Their symbol of happiness is flushed away with coldness like icicles. They're no longer gorgeous creatures that create sensational feelings of joy. 

The sad sounds of songs I hear are meant to recognize the aching pain and the memories withheld inside of my heart. The melodies ring in my ears and create a battlefield of emotions and a difficult time controlling one's misty eyes. Whispers and sounds of sad sobs are taking up the background that the music isn't drowning out. Sniffles and sighs are heard whenever you are listening closely.

Seated, the preacher is speaking words of God, praying and praising, so traditional. Different people walking on the stage while their footsteps echo on the hollow floor to help us reminisce on your past. They are trying their damn hardest to blindfold melancholy with laughter from their personal stories of you. It helps for a split second and the remembrance of the whole event just suffocates us again instantly.

Pictures are now being shown on a board letting us keep the piercing beauty and the lit up smiles of the one we're about to permanently say goodbye to. Although the pictures are meant to help us smile, they also trigger some kind of agonizing pain at the same exact time. 

At this point, one by one we all gather in a line of some kind of formality to feel your smooth, polished casket where you are now laid for eternity. We are saying goodbye with choking, piercing words that sting our tongue with bitterness of unfairness. We are in shambles trying to choose the perfect sentence of closure because we know this will be the last time you are physically in our presence. We have to get this right. 

As we walked out of that horrific place, the funeral is coming to an end and the pall bearers have carried you away with such grace that it almost seems beautiful. They're getting ready to place you in the vehicle that will take you on your last car ride. The ones who cannot bear to watch you drive away on your final journey in that cruel, black hearse are exchanging hugs and words of sadness.

Your day is now over and the physical part of you has left us. We are now left to be rained on with memories, thoughts and pictures. We hope that is enough to keep your presence blunty imprinted into our minds instead of becoming faint. The fear of forgetting you is so troubling and mind consuming. Even though the death is now finalized, the sympathy and mourning of your place is here forever.

Reviews

[Tex]

This is an amazing write! Clearly based on a real event. I am so sorry for your loss. this piece moved me to tears. the emotion is so real, the imagery so good, I was there with you loosing my brother.

some of the most incredible pictures you painted for us were:

The melodies ring in my ears and create a battlefield of emotions... Incredible!

the remembrance of the whole event just suffocates us again instantly... Amazing!

saying goodbye with choking, piercing words that sting our tongue with bitterness of unfairness... Just out of this world!

We are now left to be rained on with memories... You amaze me, tying in a raining day at a funeral with the thought of a flood of memories... incredible!

This is so good!

100/100

[Tiffany Kelley]

You are an amazing reviewer! I have so much hope now that I've had the pleasure of writing among people like yourself. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for both you and I. I really appreciate your time and patience sitting here and telling me your honest opinions and evaluating to every last word. That is not "nit picky" stuff to me. It's honest and real and helpful. I think I may just agree with you. One of my worst fears as a writer is repetition. I like to keep it interesting and unique.

Did you maybe catch a glance of the review I wrote myself? Someone saying "You REALLY need to work on your sentence structure.
Especially your past and present tense, you seem to be easily confused by those." Totally confused by this statement.

[Traci]

You truly have a wonderful way with words. Such vivid imagery, with intense emotions. I felt as if I was right there with you. As far as the review you received regarding sentence structure.....pay that no attention. I definitely look forward to reading all your other work!!

[A Black Rose]

Wow...Beautiful Piece! Awesome. I was there..filled with truth and emotion. Flawless. You are truly a writer to look out for.

[soliloquy]

Wow...i am seeing your range as a writer. This is much different than your other works....so sorry about the subject since i experienced looking a brother as well..

the paragraph structure was very good....and the strong emotion and descriptions were spot on.

[AleyshaRosa]

Beautiful, Tiffany.
You brought a tear of sadness to my eye.

I believe this is more than a story, but rather prose. It is poetry without structure. Visually impactful and breathtakingly somber. Some write of death and passing in words that they cannot feel, but I felt every stunning word, every pinch of pain and stab of sorrow. I'm so sorry.
Thank you is all I can say in finality.

Koodoos

[gombeggar]

well worded...a good expression of a painful fact of life

[Tiffany Kelley]

"You REALLY need to work on your sentence structure.
Especially your past and present tense, you seem to be easily confused by those."

Someone told me this, and I need someone else's opinion addressing the situation they are referring to. I've had this submitted as an assignment in my second semester of English Comp II and the teacher graded me %98 and never mentioned anything about this. Please help!

[Tex]

I never noticed any issues with the tense... sentence structure looked fine to me as well