God's responsible for my sarcasm.

Sarcastic Lives Club

     Hello - to whomever maybe reading thoughts that tumble from a contorted mind. 

My name is Liam, I stand twenty-three year of age & my cynicism grows with teach tick & tock. 

     “sarcastic are the binoculars through which I view the world.”

     The words that came to me when I pondered a title for this blog. In actuality, the phrase sprung upon my person so rapidly it could hardly be considered a ponder. A concerningly natural reflex. 

     A brain aneurysm would be the result of my searching for a time my mental response wasn't one of negativity. The vanity of humanity searches for external reasons for its fault, I can’t even muster that. My perfect heath is depressing. No childhood trauma, no failed marriage (that comes later I'm sure), not so much as a hip designer diagnosis. 

     “Bro, I've got OCD,” 

     Bobby blurted with pride.

     “Totz, I got ADHD. Doctor gave me a certificate and everything.” 

     Came the oneupmanship. 

     “Bulls**t,” as my Grandmother so eloquently puts it… Is it just me or is there something inherently hilarious about pensioners cursing? Perhaps its the unexpected. Teens employ swearing as adjective, noun & verb - a skill really, though not one to add to the CV (Oh how the skills of us youth go to waste). But who expects sweet little Granny to role down the car window, engaging in mouthing off foul abuses at an unwitting, yet convicted, “parking space thief.”  

     I digress, back to my issue - I qualify for zilch impairment. No rational reasoning for my, “life is a t**d stewing in piss,” hallmark (that quote is going on my gravestone, the image of an elderly couple happening upon the crude etchings brings a grin to my face. Comforting to note my negativity can transcend death). 

     So, it’s my fault, take it on the chin, work harder, stop being lazy, force myself to look beyond the gloom and hunt for the light, be the light. Or… it’s the worlds fault. That’s a fashionable viewpoint. Twenty-first century Earth is a pit of greed & degradation spread & made instantly accessible by the internet (who the bloody hell thought that was a good idea). Morality & wisdom have gone the way of the Dodo, all three where stupid & fell victim to progression.

     Even better lets blame God, a conveniently one sided debate. God has chosen to punish me, I am Jobe reborn. I’m an atheist but The Lord fits here nicely so we’ll glance over that detail. 

         Liam Callaghan