poisnous heaven

If my eyes could speak about what they see, there'll be tears everywhere.

POISONOUS HEAVEN

 

Who has not been blinded by city lights?

And who hasn't heard about the boy reading under streetlights?

 

All it ever takes is just one taste, taste of power, money, pleasure or lust
and on and on grows the diet with exemplary food items crushed and extracted from a poor's plate.
One grows, one dooms. 
Both grow apart.
Wider the difference, wider the misery
Castles of gold on burning cemetery.

But I think it's the core of humans, embedded in their heart.
The greed, hunger and insecurities and intentional amnesia on their part.

I was the oppressed, fighting the oppressor

Fighting for equality and our rights
I was leading my brothers, telling our tragic tale
Vowing to create a history
But, I got strangled
Money piled up so high and houses glowing in daylight, smell of delights
all it took was one taste of the posh car I was invited to sit in and of the 'diamond ring' I received as a gift
Now, I am the oppressor too

 See, I'm freezing with 50 degree outside

Huts are burning, people dying

While I'm wrapped in a blanket inside

Yelling at my maid, then watching a movie and crying.

 

Copies of Greenland, palaces of snow, electric aircrafts zooming around and buildings wearing the sky.

Artificial flowers with imported scent on petals,

This is my poisonous heaven.
Dancing lights of 40 shades, air purifier inside my home while a man in cycle is breathing in my car fumes.

This is my poisonous heaven.

Flourishing parasite, leech feeding on blood.

This is a poisonous heaven.

Charcoal black painted white from colors of slum that was uprooted last night.

 

Author's Note

I have tried a new style in this one. Please let me know about its effectiveness.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This feels like a mix of poetry & prose . . . the poetic parts feel a little elusive while the prose parts feel straightforward. I'm catching the drift of a storyline where someone starts out with humble beginnings, maybe more cognizant of the hurt & want all around, but then (particularly here in the USA where "the American Dream" is supposed to reign supreme) people become lured into money-making as an obsession, forgetting about those "without" & becoming obsessed with protecting one's wealth as if the poverty-striken masses might try to chip away at it. This is the age-old struggle between those WITH and those WITHOUT -- done with a sparkling splash of originality. I see more lessons & themes here, but it's too early in the morning to dig out all your well-constructed meaning (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Lia Columbus]

Your reviews are always heartwarming, friend. I feel delightful, everytime you visit me. Your words are just the inspiration, I need to continue. I always wanted to write on this... Especially the oppressor thingy. I found the words recently. Poverty is an affliction of humankind... Not just the poor, it's the time everyone realizes it. Then.. I think words don't fill tummies.. Food does.. So I am collecting money. :)

[barleygirl]

Good for you, to be collecting money for food for people! I spent 2 years volunteering on suicide prevention hotline & 6 years volunteering in animal shelters . . . I believe people should put their hands where their words are!

[Lia Columbus]

That's so nice of you. You are really a kind person. I believe everyone should be. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so many go from the poor plate to the rich dish...
they work their way to the upper class, and then forget what it felt like to be poor.
the last three lines of this say it all...they become parasites on the poor. Feeding on them,
the man feeding on the fumes of my Lincoln while I sit isolated, safe...surrounded by my wealth.
those outside of the circle suffer, those inside the circle eat caviar for kicks and stay warm
under their blanket of status.
j.

[Richard🖌]

You never disappoint, Lia 😌

Nor, do you fail to amaze us with the depth and skill of your creative mind, your insights and instincts of life and people around you, or in all the ways you express feelings, thoughts, and emotions through imagery, metaphor, and powerful poetic voice.
There are so many striking highlight phrases, lines, and verses in this monumentally awakening, intricately interwoven, poetical rendering, I can scarcely single one out over the others, without taking away from the whole.
Still, I would be remiss if I failed to show special acclaim for the following bit of sheer genius:

"If my eyes could speak about what they see, there'd be tears everywhere." (goodness-ME!)

"Copies of Greenland, palaces of snow,
electric aircrafts zooming around
and 'buildings wearing the sky' (exemplary, Lia)
Artificial flowers
with imported scent on petals,

This is my poisonous heaven.
Dancing lights of 40 shades,
air purifier inside my home …
while a man on his bicycle
breathes-in my car fumes.

This is my poisonous heaven."

Not to mention your spot-on, telling title … partly a flowing poetical Free Verse composition, part rhythmically Rhymed Lines, and part Poetical Prose, you've blended it all seamlessly into a poignant tale from innocence to greed, to conscious guilt, and what an awakening lesson for us all to compare our own lives and depths of humanity to who've surrendered to and traded our compassionate values for the more artificially shallow, material lurings of life.
Once again, I bow in highest regard and admiration for a fine piece of poetic art.
Thank you most gratefully, Lady Lia ⁓ Richard 🍃

A personal side note: If you would care to, you might find one of my humble efforts interesting, but I warm you to bring your lunch, because it is a marathon read. 🤓
"Streets of Houston" https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1629865/

That I could, you'd get a 175/100 Rating for this one, Lia : )

[Lia Columbus]

Richard! You never fail to surprise me. The amount of time and efforts you put in each review makes it so perfect. The way you single out things... Even compliment my side notes is truly overwhelming. I shall read your work with utmost patience and happiness. Thank you for making my day with your beautiful words. Every lady needs a gentleman like you for a friend, to cherish her efforts, admire her work and motivate her greatly. The pen must not stop...
Hugs
Lia

[Richard🖌]

Never, a more gracious hearted poetess have I met 🕊️

[bookishmuggle]

This explores so many important themes. The gap between rich and poor, the natural greed and selfishness in humans, and how easily the hero can become the villain. I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting when I read the title, but it all made sense when I first read the line "this is my poisonous heaven". It just hit me and I was like :o
Great job Lia :)

[Lia Columbus]

Thank you for your amazing review. I am so glad it reached you.
:)

[alanwgraham]

At first I felt overwhelmed by the avalanche of images but then I could see it fitting together. I am all for experimenting, it wont always work and not everyone will like it but ' the shock of the new'. The style suits the apocalyptic subject matter. Did you write this straight off or spend time going over and editing etc. You can lose the shock effect by tidying it up but picking up slips like 'man in cycle' is worthwhile. You have lots of great images Lia and you have done a great job.
Take care
Alan

[Lia Columbus]

This was a sudden thought, Alan. I just began scribbling whatever came to my mind, though edited it later. I am glad you like it.. Keep visiting me.
Lia

[Gaurav]

i really liked the title and open ended poetic form here...it somehow resonates with my pessimistic thoughts; living in a city life has corrupted our soul and life is nothing but a stream of unfulfilled dreams and hope for a better future and impossible enlightenment

[Lia Columbus]

I agree with you, mate. Sometimes I stand thinking about it and find myself amidst an extreme existential crisis. But I still think because that's where words come from. Let's work and hope... Words with efforts can surely change something...

[T.S. Ulmus]

The conversational style gives the feel of a free-write, but is too manicured to be that. The topic of this poem is one that I don't believe I've heard expressed before, at least not in poetry. That's sort of guilt usually comes with shame. Thank you for expressing an untapped piece on the spectrum of human emotion.

[Lia Columbus]

I am glad you got it the way, I intended to.. This writing style is new for me as well... I was just exploring.. Thank u for the encouragement.