On Poetry

Another oldie

I. A poem is a snapshot of the soul
   A feeling frozen in time
   A memory stuck on flypaper
   A window into the garden
   Stopped between night and morning.

II. A poem is an ink-pressed imprint
   Of an orchestra set to paper
   A pen-and-paper symphony
   Of an idea that will never be
   The same as it was before.

Author's Note

This is an older poem, doctored some. I re-wrote the second verse in the metaphor of music -- do you think it works?

Reviews

[Dean]

I'd appreciate it if you would take a look at my poetry, and tell me if it is something that would interest this group. I need real critiques---not just praise, although if it is genuine, I welcome it of course. I get only a few reactions on the main board....they are pleasant, but I need more. Thanks.

[Beccy]

It works very well. Poetry has often been describes as a rather poor relation in the broad spectum of the arts, visual and performing always seeming to take centre stage. I actually think however it the most all encompassing and in lyric form predates literacy in many ancient cultures.

Then again, I would think that, because I adore poetry.

Beccy.

[rnuff]

I enjoyed this write, different in style, but enjoyable

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we get the idea that poem imprints the memory..because what it captures will never be the same, it will change.

the music part works really well...

i like this but almost as two different poems...there is a variety of metaphors in the first part that actually don't connect to the metaphor in the second part which is carried all the way through that stanza...

i would make this two separate poems..

but the wording is quite nice...not big on the capitals to start each line...

jacob

[Katie]

It's supposed to feel like two poems - that's why the verses are numbered as such. Kind of like Variations in a piece of music - a repeated theme with a different angle to try to understand a different aspect of the topic. I did this more effectively later, on one of my other poems, "Four Variations on Afterthought."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i did get the feeling of two poems, with the roman numerals...like a poem in two parts...