Four Variations on Afterthought

A slow development of the afterthought from concept to Character through repetition. It's meant to subtly point to the people we leave behind -- because we all have an Afterthought.

 

I.

 

An afterthought, a fragile wisp -

It brushes through your mind,

Touching on the leaves of thought

Creation left behind.

But just as quickly as it comes,

Dancing quickly by -

The leaves are swiftly still again,

Forgotten on the fly.

 

{So be careful with an afterthought

For the moment it is yours,

The afterthought will drift away

If left to find its course.}

 

II.

 

There was a little Afterthought

Hanging in a tree

Waiting for some passerby

To pick her up, you see.

 

As she waited, she grew up,

So eager for the dance,

She searched her dusty stretch of road,

Long-hopeful for her chance.

 

Then a man came, swept her up,

To dance amongst the clouds,

Sweeping into ecstasy

His Afterthought avowed.

 

But he forgot her flightless feet

And dropped her when he turned,

In pursuit of fruitless thought,

Her silent screams unheard.

 

{Don’t forget your afterthought,

The lovely, spun-glass bird,

The moment that you spin away,

As kindling she is burned.}

 

III.

 

Hello, my name is Afterthought.

                A pretty little thing

                With copper hair and silver eyes

                Hung from a golden string.

 

I saw him coming in the street

                From the corner of my eye

                And in my foolish blindness then

                I almost passed her by.

 

We met as he was leaving home

                My mission unfulfilled

                Her glass heart shimmered in the sun

                As inspiration turned.

 

Sweeping off on flying feet

                Her silver eyes did shine

                We waltzed into the clouds above

                The sky our dancing-shrine.

 

All too soon, my world was him

                She hung about my thoughts

                Her eyes, her laugh, her golden song

                A desert-quenching draught.

 

But once, when we were gone about

                On mission once again

                The visage of my Afterthought

                Was dangling from a thread.

 

He dropped me, dashed me in the dust.

                But when my mind did drift

                I let go of Afterthought

                Who sailed into the wind.

 

Wind crushed my heart throughout

                And I forged my way ahead

                My Afterthought long-lost in time

                I shoved away the dread.

 

I fell down through the trees

                It echoed in my head

                As I raced to shattered hopes

                I knew that she was dead.

 

Until I shattered in the fall

                Forget responsibility

                Her spun-glass heart had never grown

                To bloom into maturity.

 

To fade amongst the leaves…

                A light glimmered in her eyes

                They blindly searched the sky above

                For a shadow of her lives.

 

Hello, my name is Afterthought.

Under my hands, light died

From her eyes, and so my dreams,

What had my heart cried?

 

{If only I had heeded her

When eyes met mine with fear

As if she knew my fickle mind

Her path was always clear.}

               

IV.

 

Hello, my name is Afterthought.

I saw him from the street

We met as he was leaving home

Swept off on flying feet!

All too soon my world was him

But once, when we were out

He dropped me, dashed me in the dust

Wind crushed my heart throughout.

Without my anchor, I was lost

I fell down through the trees -

Until I shattered in the fall

To fade amongst the leaves…

 

Author's Note

I had so much trouble with the rhythm! Does it flow well enough?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, it flows well, it did for me.

i like how the last part reinforces what came before...and how the third part is like two poems in one.

i felt the thread of this one all the way through the piece...the afterthoughts are like a moment...like george carlin said, "there's a moment coming, here it comes, it's almost here, here it is, aw s**t it's gone"

life is fleeting, it passes by quickly, as do the afterthoughts of that life and the incidents of that life.

good stuff here.

all your writing is deep, sort of wistful, very real.

jacob

[Con O'Clast]

It flows beautifully, a real pleasure to read. Just one issue with rhyming: 'She hung about my thoughts... a drink in endless drought.' Now this could be my Irish accent but I found that was the one jarring moment in it. I love the dancing imagery, I think it fits especially well because the piece is so musical in delivery, in fact I think the third stanza would make lovely song lyrics. Thanks for recommending it, a great poem!

[Katie]

Thanks! Yeah, I don't think it's the accent... it doesn't quite fit together. (My accent wanders from vaguely latino to halfway southern and it's never gotten in the way of my rhyming before.) I think I've just read this one so many times that it begins to have word-wars in my brain. O.o