Keeping Secrets

New Edited Version

 

"Oh it's beautiful!" I exclaimed, stroking the smooth and satiny material as I admired my reflection in the mirror.

 

The skirt swished and swashed when I twirled around in the dressing room, the simple yet elegant design transforming me into the princess every little girl wishes she could be. And here I was in my fairy kingdom with plush seating and the soft glow of the lighting separating the chaotic street outside from the secluded bridal shop. I pulled back the curtain, the scraping of the hooks breaking the tranquility. 

 

The owner of the shop, an elderly French seamstress, placed a hand on her chest and gave a content sigh; her apprentice, a small and scraggly fellow New Yorker, smiled freely as I presented myself to them both. Their admiration began to grow uncomfortable and for the first time since I'd entered the empty shop, I wished there were someone else to attract their attention.

 

I was saved, thankfully, when the ring tone of my phone pierced through the relaxing music. Bending carefully, I rummaged about in my bag pulling out the small phone to reveal Kim's number flashing on the screen.

 

"Hello?" I answered after flicking it open and smiling apologetically to the owner.

 

"Hullo? Anya? It's Kim." She shouted over the horns and traffic that I could hear in the background.

 

"I've been here for ages, where are you?" I hissed, turning away from my audience. They seemed to take the hint and the teacher hustled her student towards the back of the establishment.

 

"Sorry but I'm stuck in bloody traffic, driver says we should be there in five minutes." She explained.

 

"Ok, well just get here as soon as you can." I replied pulling the curtain across and kicking off my shoes.

 

"Yeah, I'll tr-" but Kim was gone and I sighed as I chucked my phone back into my bag.

 

Twisting around to undo the hook and zip as quickly as possible, I caught my face in the mirror. I straightened up and smoothed down the skirt. Don't look at me like that, I said silently to the reflection, Someday I'll get married but it's still too soon.

 

Whatever, I almost heard her tut but I ignored it and began to hastily remove the wedding dress.

 

---

 

The slap of the mattress under my hand echoed through the eerie silence of the room, I was alone. Taking in a deep breath, I smelt fresh coffee coming from downstairs and went to investigate.

 

Halfway down the stairs, I stopped and gazed out the window, noticing the snow peaked mountains and roofs dripping with icicles. Just looking at it made me pull my dressing gown tighter and glad that the thick, traditional Swiss windows separated myself from the harsh and frosty outdoors. Noticing the pulsing screen of the phone at the bottom of the stairs I pressed the play button and tried to decipher the message that crackled out the speaker.

 

“Hello? Mr Jacobs? It’s Helen Garde from Art World, we were wondering if you could ring us back at this number as soon as possible. Thank you.”

 

I held down the delete button until it gave a long beep and proceeded into the kitchen.

 

Karla was stood pouring over something on the sideboard, her blond hair scraped back and falling down her slender and trim form. My agent, Lucas Wenders, had introduced us a couple years back at a party he took me to in an attempt to get me more into the public eye.

 

“Morning,” I mumbled as I placed my head on her shoulder, sniffing in the sharp perfume she always wore. I glanced at what she was looking at and saw the sketches I’d hidden in the dresser. “Where did you get those?” I jumped away nervously, “Karla? Why are you looking at them?” She didn’t respond to my rather neurotic questions. “Karla, answer me!”

 

“Why can’t it be me?” She questioned in a whisper and I had to take a step closer to hear. “Why, Joshua, can’t it be me?” Her voice was stronger and more forceful.

 

“I can’t say.” I replied evasively as she turned around to face me. Her red and swollen eyes prominent against her immaculately made-up face.

 

“I have been your girlfriend for two and a half years and I accepted when we met that you were famous for your drawings of another girl but now,” She paused, “Now I won’t tolerate it.”

 

She observed me disgusted and disappointedly before putting on her coat.

 

“I thought you loved me, Joshua Jacobs, but I was wrong. Wrong that I thought you were over whoever this goddamn girl is and wrong about us.” She glanced over at me before striding to the front door.

 

“Karla, I do love you.” I tried to assure her.

 

She turned on her heel and said sharply, “Prove it then.”

 

The door slammed behind her and I was left in the sinister silence of the house with only my recent drawings to haunt me.

 

Author's Note

Recently edited, do you think it's any better? I was trying to give better description then before but....
Oh well any thoughts welcome! Thank you =]

Reviews

[Adeline]

This is really interesting so far! I am definitely going to keep reading!

[-Aurelia Mirella]

Oh this is really good!!

I love your style of writing, and the plot is just so interesting and different!

Well done!

Always,
-Aurelia Mirella

[Joanna Maharis]

I love the direction of this story, but the scene with Joshua and Karla would probably serve better as a seperate chapter from the scene of the women when the wedding dress is getting tried on. When I went to the scene with Joshua and Karla, at first I wasn't clear about who was talking to Carla, in that I thought at first that it was a woman talking to her. It wasn't until Karla said Joshua's name that I got the clue that this was a different scene.