Somehow Alone

I’m loved
And yet I’m alone
I’m happy
But I have a death wish

Late at night
When I’m the only one awake
My pain makes an appearance
Emptiness shows itself

And I’m alone
Despite the full house
Overwhelming sense of feeling
At war with cold numbness

On the verge of crying
Yet my eyes stay dry
A scream begging to come out
But my ears are too sensitive

I’m alone
A fact that will never change
I’m loved
But I’m alone

Reviews

[Sammi]

Lexi I too know this feeling from my husband's death in Afghanistan a couple of years ago, I know he still loves me, I feel it but i miss him and ache for him especially when alone in my bed at night -- I think you understand this and how much it hurts to be alone.
Richard said I will love your poetry and he is so completely right, you are a very special writer and beautiful person, don't cry any more, you are not alone as long as I am here -- much love!♥️

HUGGS!
Sammi

[Einstein Noodle]

sometimes just before I fall to sleep ...or just before waking ... thoughts and the mind wander to strange and sometimes terrifying places .. we have built in conflicting "stuff" i think ... in the right dose we are motivated ... to much we are crushed and symied .. not enough .. and we simply see no need to get up in the morning. .. being alone and being lonely are two very distinct things, i think ... your poem moves compassion in me toward your speaker, Lexi ... being alone and lonely .. even in crowds as your poem points out .. is universal .. felt in different intensity ... funny ... reading your poem ... i don't feel so all alone ;) love and peace and joy!
E.

[Chris Shaw]

I understand that feeling. You can be in a packed room, surrounded by people and yet you can still feel alone. That is one of the tricks depression can play on you. What is good in your poem, is that you know you are loved. That is important and you should always remember that. Sometimes that scream needs to come out.

Chris

[Dave]

Lexi - I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, your suffering. Like you, I have felt alone, but thankfully never to the point that I felt physical pain. Your beautiful poetry expresses it so poignantly.
Surely there must be some agencies that could provide you with the assistance that you need. I really hope that you find the help that you need, I sincerely believe that death is not the answer.
Please seek help for yourself - Dave

[Mr. Malarkey]

Feeling lonely in a crowd is such a familiar and painful feeling. It's so painful to not be alone but still feel lonely because there's no connection to the people around you and nobody who you feel like you could relate to. Very wonderfully written!

[Devansh Shekhar Shukla]

Your poem is really painful, Lexi. Being alone is frustrating. Although I have never been like this, I can understand your situation well. Anyway you wrote it really beautifully :)

[Unspoken poet]

I know this feeling, It sucks to sit alone with there is a house of people. No one knows how you feel, but yet you really don't want to tell them. I know this feeling.