Decayed Wings

He asked me if it hurt when I fell from heaven

And it wasn't a charming question

My wings were set ablaze

As I crashed through the Earth's atmosphere

Each feather plucked with painstaking vulgarity

I grasped at moons and galaxies

In a desperate attempt

To slow my blazing descent

And the burns still smoke

My scarred back still smoldering 

There went my ignorant purity

As a gritty harsh reality was thrust upon me

"You should know. 

You pushed me."

Reviews

[Zayir]

I love your writing style! As someone who's also young (I'm 19) you have the element of growing up too quick. Maturing because you were forced to, the twist at the end of the piece was unexpected but a nice conclusion. I relate to tonality in your work as well as some of the themes. Forgive me if I don't write a review for each piece you compose, sometimes there's no criticism on my end. Your other writings have made me content, questioning society/world and other emotions that usually aren't brought up in. Thank you for sharing this short but amazing piece!

Much Love

[Askew]

I think that reading your review just now has been the best part of my day so far, thank you! After thanking so many people for reviewing, my gratitude must sound empty at this point, but I mean it when I say that your comments mean so much to me. Hearing that you like the things I pour my entire self into makes me feel incredibly happy.
Thank you!

[BBP]

Really loved the twist on this. Turning the corny question into a deeply wonderful poem. My favorite way to write is to play off things and you did this so well!

[Askew]

I'm really glad you appreciated my use of the stereotypical pick up line, I'm very proud of this piece and it makes me happy hearing that people like you enjoy it

[BBP]

You should be proud!

[LazerRays]

Ahhhh a fallen angel. For some reason I think lucifer.... Idk, that wouldn't make sense considering your remorse. I think that loss of heaven is something to be missed. You want that back. I think, idk, I'm just trying to understand how you feel. The possibilities are endless. I suppose anyone would feel remorse and bitterness from once being way up high and falling to earth. Hugs. Hope things get better!

[Askew]

I debated adding the Lucifer element to this poem, and I might write another from that point of view, but I decided I wanted this one to show how much I miss being innocent and pure and ignorant. Thank you for reviewing and enjoying my writing, it means a lot.

[LazerRays]

No problem! My pleasure! And that sounds like a wonderful poem, go for it!

[Chris Shaw]

This speaks to me as a loss of innocence. Finding yourself in a place where you do not feel comfortable. You used the word vulgarity, I found that interesting.

Chris

[Askew]

You seem to have a talent for dissecting the meaning behind my poems, Chris, and I find that really interesting.

[Chris Shaw]

I have teenagers living in my home :)

[Askew]

And there we go, the secret to why you understand what I write, haha

[Chris Shaw]

........... :))

[Crosby Idasa]

This is special, nice write up...

[Jade]

WOW!! I love this write, I love that line you used, How it felt when you fell from Heaven,
The things guys say, This is a really good write

[Askew]

I've been wanting to write this for a long time, so it means a lot that you like it so much