Am I Allowed?

Am I allowed this?

This small piece of happiness, 

This tiny piece of indulgence?

Is it something I'm allowed to take

Or will it be ripped from me once again?

Do I deserve it,

Or am I doomed to a life of lonely heartbreak

And quick sex in the dark?

No one has to know.

It can be a pretty little secret

Where neither of us admit to anything

And we can save the quiet joy for ourselves.

I'm ready to be happy,

Though I don't know if I can be.

Reviews

[Dave]

I remember, once upon a time when I was young, a teenager in fact. Looking back at all the foolish
things I did and those I didn't do I look back and wish I knew then what I know now. Growing up is a
very difficult job. The choices we had in my youth were in many ways very restricted, today there are so many options. Many without having to worry about unwanted consequences, but still because there are so many options the choices young people have to make are that much more difficult.

In so many ways I envy you and the youth of today. On the other hand I hope that the vast majority
of you use your God given intelligence to select wisely. I honestly don't know if this helps you or not

Take care - Dave.

[solsystemtillnervsystem]

This is beautiful, and beautifully sad. I've been in this state of mind a hundred times before. Honestly, all we can do is hope that one day the universe is a little kinder to us. I hope things are getting better for you.

[Mr. Mills]

Was this poem suppose to represent any realism? The happiness can be shared between two people. That little bit. It was a good poem overall, had some rhyming, and had some emotion.

[Askew]

This poem is full of my actual thoughts on a situation I"m currently in with another person. I can't let anyone know about my connection to this person however, because it wouldn't be good for either of us.

[Mr. Mills]

I didn't mean to insult you or anything. I can see why you want to keep this private. I didn't mean to get involved really, in your life.

[Askew]

Oh no, please don't apologize, I didn't take any offense. You asked and I felt the need to explain.

[Jules K.]

This poem hit close to home, I do connect with it.

[Jade]

WOW!!! Deep and well written, Some things are better off as secrets I always say.

[Coyote Poetry]

All of us deserve happiness.
"And we can save the quiet joy for ourselves.
I'm ready to be happy,
Though I don't know if I can be."
Sometimes, we cannot believe we can own happiness. Thank you Lexi for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[emmajoy]

Noticed you've not commented about any of your reviews, so am wondering if you want advice about your post-sex feelings or words left re. your quite emotional poetry. Give us a clue, please very much!

Meantime you've expressed thoughts you might already be wondering about: is it excitement or concern, is it secret pleasure or mild relief that it's over? Your words are laid very smoothly as if considered before being left open to scrutiny but - are they here to thrill over or fear, if only a little?

[Askew]

I know I haven't replied to any reviews, and that's because I'm usually stumped about what to say. Seeing that people are reading my writing and taking the time to actually review it blows my mind, I find it so difficult to believe that people like what I write.

To be completely honest, I'm not even totally sure about how this poem should be read. Depending on how I'm feeling it has different meanings to me. Sometimes I'm excited about my little secret, and other times I'm scared because it's unhealthy. I don't want to say that you should feel any one way because I like leaving it up for interpretation.

[emmajoy]

I can understand that, truly can, and, in many ways is how it should be, you're not telling but expressing truth or make-believe.

Think perhaps a brief thank you is always welcome by reviewers however. It's very much give and take in here. Your writing has eloquence, pity to lose favour by not saying 'ta' and also, reciprocating by reviewing others. Perhaps. (Not meaning to read bossy but helpful.)

[Askew]

Oddly, this is not the first time I've heard this from someone. I think a large part of the reason I don't respond is because I feel like the same thank you message will eventually become bland and meaningless. I do spend a great deal of time reviewing others though.

Thank you for your comments and advice, they mean a lot.

[Einstein Noodle]

i agree with Dave ;) Dale Carnegie has written that "the only mistake one ever makes is when we persist in it" ..you might not know about Dale Carnegie ..but he wrote a lot of sound and wise books on living and let live topics ... your poem is brutally honest .. something you present in most of your poems i have read .. one can tell they are expressions that come from your own living ... either vicariously or in reality .. the angst of not knowing who we are and where to find happiness is way too often confused with "SEX" ;) a few minutes of release must be weighed against any aftermath of guilt, shame, feelings of uselessness ... maybe getting pregnant ... and at the end of all that ...still the emptiness inside is there ... perhaps even stronger than before .. and so disappointment and perhaps a stronger impulse to "try it again" ...my own teen growing up was by far much simpler ... we had rules that counted and are universal ... though no one can stay inside those lines .. it one tries ... it brings us back to a healthier way of living ... the Lord knows you are ready to happiness ... just as He does for all of us ... in my own life it is moving through and beyond struggles that count ... not necessarily in defeating them ... be well my new found friend .. sure do appreciate your poetry :)
E.

[Bertha]

This is rightly put! The circumstances we face, make us doubt if we really are going to be happy someday. If we are worth it all.
Nice one!