It's Getting Worse

How do I live

When all I want

Is to die?

How can I yearn for adventure

When I crave a casket?

I've tried three times

To grant my death wish

But apparently

I'm a failure at dying too.

This world burns

But I wake up cold

With icy hand prints on my body.

I stare at scars

Of my own making

And still wonder how they got there.

Did I cut myself?

Or does that one belong to him?

Is that one mine?

Or is that his handiwork?

I'm tired.

I want an eternity

Of dreamless sleep.

But every time I close my eyes

I see a shadow man of sharp things.

He leaves me black,

Blue,

And bloody.

Put me to sleep

And don't set the alarm.

What do I do

With a mind full of questions

That drip blood like tears?

How do I stop?

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Heartbreak make us blind to hope. But we must go forward and do the good fight. My messy life led me to perfect place. Hello dear Lexi. Thank you for sharing your amazing poetry and I hope you are doing well. Being safe.
Coyote

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another powerful piece that bleeds the hurting of a failed relationship. A good flowing and emotion filled free verse.

[Chris Shaw]

Lexi this is a powerful write. As a parent and a Nan to three grandchildren who live with me it is strong to read. You relate your feelings so well, but they are so dark and despair filled. I hope this is you being a good writer and not what you are experiencing personally. If it is, I want to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You aren't the first to feel like this. One very close to me lived through this nightmare. It took time, but he is through it and now finds life far more positive. He is enjoying it and happy to be here. Keep writing, expressing those feelings. It can be cathartic.

Chris

[Abhishek Izy]

This is some powerfully disturbing imagery and thoughts my dear lil friend. At the age of 17, you have created a remarkable write which is oozing of maturity. I just hope this is a figment of imagination because it would be upsetting if your life has a reflection of it. I wish you well and all the good things to come. Please keep writing. Take care of yourself

[Dave]

Who knows if there is dreamless sleep - at the end? None of us, so instead endure the trial and turmoil that is today. Remember that whatever the difficulty, 'this too shall pass'. You are young, I'm sure like the writing you portray here you have much to offer it would be a shame for all of us to lose it.

Take care - Dave

[sinNsincerity]

"I want an eternity
Of dreamless sleep."
Yes!!! I wake up tired and despise getting up.
I dream of this every second.
My soul is tired and I don't know why either.
They call this depression?
Why do I feel this way?

[Jade]

This is just sad, really depressing to read, but we're are allowed to have our feelings. So very sad

[KCthelastboyscout]

Depression is a painful struggle. Writing is a cry for help letting people know that you are fighting to get through that struggle. What you wrote is really beautiful and sad much like most things in life

[trying_to_write]

This is incredibly saddening but beautifully written. I can really feel the pain in this as I have been here too, you convey the suffering unbelievably well. Great job.