And So I Sin

The way they look at me

With shame and disappointment in their eyes

And a hint of fear

As if they're scared of what I'll do next

Scared of what next will come out 

Of my pretty painted lips

What vulgar words I'll spew

Or what unholy acts I'll commit

The way they look at me

Lights a fire under my a*s

And so I sin

I sin

And sin

And sin

Provoking them

In hopes that they will one day realize

That I have lain with the devil himself

That I was born with a madman for a mind

And a sadist for a heart

I will dance around the fire

Until I'm burned as a witch

And with my dying breath

I curse those who tried to slow me down

All those who looked at me 

With shame and disappointment in their eyes

And a hint of fear

As if they were scared

Because they knew what I'd do next

Reviews

[Chryiss]

Wah! I really loved this. "Lights a fire under my a*s" Such character! But such was the whole piece. I also especially loved the last lines, That I have lain with the devil himself / That I was born with a madman for a mind / And a sadist for a heart" and just the whole of it from there on too. Ah the beginning too. Oh wait, that's all of it. Whoops.
Okay in all seriousness though, this was really well done and with such personality and voice as incomparable to other poems I've read thus far. Perhaps because it was in first person, but just being so doesn't mean voice is successful. A real gift, keep on writing~! :)

[Askew]

I'm really glad you liked this so much! Out of everything I've written, this has to be one of my favourites because I had such anger and resentment in me when I wrote it. The fact that you enjoyed it so much makes me so happy.

[Chryiss]

Then it is perfect, in feeling the emotions at writing you were able to convey them at their best expression.

[Hunter Mullis]

aaaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[CyranoDBergeron]

I love your expressiveness. You have good material.

I think you can wittle it down to a more poetic state though. Always look for new ways of seeing and connecting things.

For example you laid with the devil himself and were born with a madman for a mind

You could say that when you laid with the devil he 'perverted' your mind.

It paints the devil in a weird light and makes him more active in the poem but still gets across your mental state.

[Wesley Dingler]

Very good work, Lexi.
Keep dancing around the fire until it burns...


-wes

[goldenscar__]

Reckless and rebel, you sound. Looks like the whole world has died in your soul.

[Serendipity Planet]

Love your writing , your free style is the best when you let your thoughts fly

Like in this beautiful piece , I am addicted