I wish I could help...

I want to kick his a*s

No you can’t

Put his face through glass

I’ll just laugh

 

I wish I could help you

I know

For what he’s put you through

It shows

 

If I were there he would be gone

You wouldn’t suffer anymore

I’d take your somewhere safe and warm

Where he couldn’t come to your door

 

I know you want to help

Your feelings are heartfelt

Right now let me handle this

I want to fix my crisis

 

Maybe someday we will find each other

And have a good time

We have a lot to do together

Things will be divine

Reviews

[♪GetUse2MyMelodie..]

Two voices. Somehow I imagine a boy and a girl. But I can see where you're coming from. In fact, that very first line, I've said before. haha nice write.

[Dark Angel]

Awwwwww. So sweet... but so sad.... If only they weren't separated.

[Havatara]

I like how it was two people talking to each other, and it still went together nice. Good job.

[Ashley Black]

very nicely done. i like the two different perspectives

[Mauricio Montoya]

nice

[Daisy123]

I like the way you used two different voices, good job.

[Luna Northstar]

I really love this. The two voices.... I could be taking this wrong, but it reminds me of me.... and my someone. They want to help, but they can't. I need to help myself, i think, whoever this represents, you or someone else, wants to take responsibility for their actions. If you're the one who wants to help... your doing a great job, sweet and heartfelt. The things everyone needs. Great write. :)

[Sarah]

cool

[victoria]

i love the feeling and the idea in this poem :D but the rhyming pattern is a bit inconsistent, you might wanna take a look at that. otherwise, it was really good :D

[Aldora Sparrow]

Again, good use of color to your advantage. But, again, choose whether you want to rhyme or not because inconstancies become too annoying to the lazy reader who has to decipher it and interest is diverted away into unhappiness that draws away from appreciating this pretty piece. Otherwise, nice start, but really take a firm stand on the rhyme