Please forgive me....

This is dedicated to someone I hurt

You came back

I was so excited

Exponentially delighted

 

You told me how you were

I listened with delight

Your smile looked so bright

 

We talked for many hours

Dreaming of the day

We would meet and together go away

 

We would go to the beach

Talk and talk

Walk and walk

 

I never want to let you go

Please don’t leave

It would be hard to breathe

 

I know I screwed up

I made a mistake

Now all I want to do is stay awake

 

I want to talk to you

But alas I wait for your return

So that I can express my love and total concern

 

Please forgive me

That is all I ask

I hope I can live up to your task

Reviews

[Missing Part]

very good this is really good

[Jessica Mai]

I love it. The feelings you expressed are so true.

[Dev]

Ahh I liked it.. It's relatable and sweet.. So what it's not straining my brain enough that I have to run to my Oxford edition of the dictionary. It's short, sweet and easy to understand and THAT's where lies it's beauty

[Star Wolf]

The one you love is usually the one you hurt the most. I think that's because they care so much and what you think and do matters to them.

[WriterSki7]

Alas, the intracentcies of love . . .
Ah, Writerscafe grows weary of my constant speeches on the supject. Long story short I can see where you're coming from. Do I understand you, yes. Does that make your poem a great one? No. I find this one rather mediocre in comparison to what I expect of you. All in all, good job.

But do better next time. My best advice is to use a Thesaurus. It can work wonders*

[Dark Angel]

The mistakes of love are so true yet can end so mean. I like how you leave the ending up for interpretation of the reader. I love the rhyme and the three verse stanzas change up the normal four verse stanza.

[Frantzuu]

wonderful, wonderful write and very honest.

[Theresa]

I really like the rhyming scheme it helped the poem flow nicely. I think so many people can relate to this. Making a mistake, wishing you can take it back, regret, it's all there. Great piece.

[Katie Louise Hughes]

This seemed really genuine, thanks for sharing this personal poem! :) Good job!

[Kia-chan!]

Wow...This is really good :) Keep writing :)