No One

I didn’t know what I was thinking. In my pain and misery, I caused even more turmoil. In the end I just couldn’t remember her words, even in death. I cared for her so much, and yet I forgot what she died teaching me. Now I sit here in this cell, waiting for my time to expire, all because I didn’t listen to her…



The Beginning



I was never a genius, but I was told I had a high I.Q. I was never a strong man, but apparently had above average resources. I didn’t come from a rich family, yet I was told I was in the “middle class”. I never understood any of these things. I was a straight A student, I was a track star, and when I turned sixteen I got a new car.

I never wanted to go to school. I hated it with ferocity like you could never believe. My parents offered me the chance to home school, but I chose not to. Now that seems odd, yet I had a reason to stay. She had, what could be described as, and average body, she was an average student, but her brown hair was so beautiful. It waved in the wind and covered her face in a teasing way when we were in class. She was my best friend. Her name was May O’Conner.

I first met her in elementary school. She fell down on the black top and just started laughing. People around me gave her a look of disgust of anger, I gave her a hand. When I went up to her, and put my hand out she just looked at me, wide eyed as if I was the first person she had ever seen. After about thirty seconds I sat on the ground next to her.

“Do you have any injuries?”

“…N..No” she said.

After that day, we began getting to know each other, not in the traditional sense though. We never talked for six years. She and I gave subtle clues back and forth everyday just trying to understand the nature each other. The first time we had a conversation, I asked her to our junior prom.

“Do you want to go with me? I think it would be fun. I could pay…” She stopped me.

“I don’t want to go to that. I would be conforming to the system. Come to my house after we take pictures at yours. We will have our prom there.” She said as I looked into her eye, the only one I can usually see anyway.

So that day came. She pitied my parents by allowing them to photograph us in our attire, although she dressed in simplistic yet beautiful attire. She wore a white dress with no frills or what not, just very simple, yet it made her look like an angel.

My “friends” didn’t like her very much. They thought she didn’t belong. I only used those “friends” of mine. Cruel as it sounds, I needed them to survive this hellish arena known as high school. They thought I was one of them but I hated them more than anything. They represented all that is wrong with this world.

One very vocal critic though was a girl named Amanda Breen. She always liked me but it infuriated her to see me with May. She asked me out every year, thinking that if she became more beautiful, I would look at her. I could never look at her though.

When we got to the school me and May headed toward her house. Amanda yelled to me

“Sam! Sam! Where are you going?”

I didn’t look back. I had not interest in her, so I saw no point, but I could tell that she was angry. It was a mistake to think that she wouldn’t do anything.

May lived in the “rough” part of town but the people she introduced me to seem nice enough. Everyone I knew talked down to them but I always told them “don’t talk down to them unless you have been in their position.” I always believed that knowledge without mileage meant nothing, but no one cared.

Her mom worked nights at a dinner so she wasn’t at her house. Her house was quaint yet looked like a stereotypical poor person’s house. We talked on the way and she told me how her father was no longer in the picture and how she and her mother were just barely getting by.

May came from a broken home. Her father was a drunk who abused her mother and when she got pregnant, ran away. When May was born, her mother took care of her the best she could, eventually finding her way to our town. She got into painting after seeing a book in the library on Picasso paintings. She had never opened up to anyone but me before.

As we entered her house I noticed it was very clean. She had obviously put a lot of work into it. We then entered her room and I saw something I had never seen before, her room was covered in paintings on the wall.

“I did all these myself…let me show you something.” She turned off the lights and they began to glow. It was amazing to see all the different kinds of glow in the dark colors of paint. They were all distorted faces, of people I knew and she knew. It was haunting yet amazing. She was truly an amazing artist. I cannot help but sit down and look at them.

She sits next to me and leans on my arm. I look at her and she says

“Why do you have those friends? Don’t you hate them? You don’t need them. We can just be together you and me…”

Tears flow down her face.

“…We are both different than everyone else. We both have futures, me in art and you in your writings. I have marveled for years over how you dissect human emotions, feelings, social structures and stereotypes. If you finish your book you can publish it and I am sure it will be a great selling book…but I see how you suffer, how progress is slowed because of these friends and this school…”

She looks up at me, her face red from the tears

“…marry me. Let’s leave school and go away together. We may not have the best living arrangements but at least we will have each other. I know everyone will hate us but please don’t do anything to them if they try to hurt me. It isn’t worth the pain. We can be free from our hell…please…”

I kiss her. It is the only thing I can do. It was a soft kiss; I could taste her tears on her lips. When I look at her again, I say

“Yes.”

She smiles. Then I hear a scream.

As we look through the window, we see that it was Amanda. She had been watching and listening to us the whole time. I also notice all of my “friends” are there too, disgusted and angry. I go outside, May at my side, and I say

“Leave. This is no place for you.”

“Bullshit!” Amanda says.

“She has corrupted you, turned you into a dirty person, well I will cleanse you of this dirt so you can come back to us...to me!”

I am grabbed by two of my track teammates, dragged away from May. Then Amanda holds up a gun. I scream and plead and threaten but before I can get them off of me I hear a shot. May had been shot right between the eyes. As her body plopped to the ground, I threw the two men off of me and ran to her. I cried so hard. I felt as if my world was over. Police pull up and but I cannot hear what they are saying.

I hear nothing, I feel nothing. Then in one moment, a burst of anger, sadness and rage come over me. I see a crowbar on the ground. I grab it and walk over towards Amanda. The police tell me too stop but I do not hear them. All my anger is focused on one thing, one person. Amanda Breen.

The next thing I remember is waking up in a jail cell with blood on my hands and clothes. I did not care; I could only hope that I extracted justice for May. I knew my life would end on this planet at some point. I knew that…

“Samuel Rider” The officer said.

…in the end, without May…

“You are being transferred to central booking, come with us.”

…my life had no meaning, no purpose…no point…

Three days later on a TV in the local dinner…

“In what has to be the worst incident of local violence in a long time, three are dead in a love triangle of sorrow. After one Amanda Breen shot May O’Conner in the head, Miss O’Conner’s boyfriend, Samuel Rider, brutally killed Miss Breen with a crowbar. Striking her one hundred and fifty times before officers can restrain him. After Mr. Rider was arrested and about to be transferred to central booking, he grabbed and officers gun and shot himself in the head. All this reporter can say, is that this is truly a sad case of young love taken too far.”

Reviews

[Cats Eye]

I've read many depressing writings but this brought pain to my heart. Amazing write I felt myself being dragged into the writing.

[Luna Northstar]

Wow..... thats all I can say.

[The Perfectionist]

Someone compared me to Simon Cowell today, and so in spirit of that:

Your problem is...you kind of suck

In all seriousness, you have a very neat story here, but you don't tell it very well. Your grammar flits between passable and abysmal, and you commit the worst literary sin of all and switch tenses many, many times throughout this short story. Stick to one (I would suggest past) and don't waver from it.

In a story with this little information, it is understandable that the reader will be left with many questions, but even considering that, I came away from this wondering a little too much. Why was May ostracized? Because of her class? You never make that clear and there's not even any hints until near the end of the story. What makes his friends so horrible?

Your story is also a little out of order. You put description into it, but it feels like an afterthought; it's stuck in places seemingly at random, with no connection to the flow of the story. For instance, we needed to know about his friends when you were talking about school, not after he's already at her house.

It's mostly realistic in that I could definitely see this actually happening, but you need to clean up the presentation. It doesn't do this story justice.

[The Analog Kid]

Nice concept. I know it's a short story, but I would expand it just a bit. Like the part about the kids looking in the window. That seems unrealistic, you could just change the setting a bit to tell of that scene...like it happens on the street or at the park. I do think this is a decent write.

Pat

[Star Wolf]

Wow. Impressive write.

[Tina Kline]

Awesome and very intense! Very well done.

[Kia-chan!]

I thought this was just going to be a melloncolly love story....But near the end, it turned out to be a brutal murder sean! I have to tell 'ya, the adrenalin rush started setting in. I mean, wow, things really did take a turn for the worse. When I first read the part where Amanda pulls out a gun, I did'nt like it because I thought it was too random. But after a while, I thought, " If thats the way it happend, then thats the way it happend!" In the end, it all seamed to fit together perfectly.

[MissWordSmith]

i agree with everyone...there really isnt anything to say but WOW

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Man..this story is intense. I really felt some strong emotions through it all. It was a roller coaster ride. You built us up with the intense love and then it turned into a beautiful nightmare.

[deeps]

This is amazing, such emotion in this write.
I really like this and the imagery.
Wonderful detail as well.
Very well written. I like this alot.