you have this way of looking at me that is never really looking, you go over my body as if committing it to memory, as if I didn’t know any better
this is not the gaze of a lover but the scrutiny of a student.
So you read my lines and write my footnotes, making me your favorite disquisition a beautiful paraphrase of a vile verse. You chew on my words but spit something foreign, making me a french poet and spiritual sorrow a misspell of visceral pain
you have this way of touching me that is never really touching, you fiddle with my corners as if you’re turning pages as if I didn’t know any better
this darkness is mine to survive and not yours to sacrifice on the altar of the damned.
And damned be indeed Baudelaire and the rest of your french poets or whoever it was that made you so sentimental my darling, you really don’t know any better
it's been a while since I published something and I'm an insicure mess about it. I would greatly appreciate the most brutal and honest feedback you can muster. Thanks!
My Review
Would you like to review this Poem? Login | Register
At first there are hints of mystery to this so called lover of yours, or, a mix of maladjusted intent. Decided on the latter.. Feel he sees you as a notch on his belt.. rather than someone he wants to know and know.. perhaps slowly. Rather than a man who sees you more as the day's hot roast. In a way - have read four times, the way in which you've written both emotionally and critically, there's sadness and touches of offence felt. That said i think you're too adult for him. He's more like a child picking at the pic-mix containers.. not knowing what the hell he wants. This really a canny case of perception on your part; analytical, but not ugly. More a shrug.
wonderful analogy. take me as i am, do not read more into it. appreciate my beauty, do not try to interpret. a beautiful poem should be experienced and appreciated. feel don't think.
there are no flowers to my evil
she is what she is. take it or leave it but you will never change it. i really like this. bravo ... :)
can't be brutal here...i love the sardonic tone...and the idea of being felt as less a lover and more something perused academically...
being scrutinized and reviewed like a play...and the french poet thing reminds me of Rimbaud...who was such an a*s of a person, but did write beautiful poetry...but what you give us here is the idea that French poets be damned, beautiful poetry be damned.
read my body as something beautiful and sexy...not something to research and cite.
I like this very much, especially being an English teacher...it touches me...
j.
Posted 4 Years Ago
4 Years Ago
hi! thank you for reviewing! I've only recently discovered Rimbaud so that definitely inspired me, I.. read morehi! thank you for reviewing! I've only recently discovered Rimbaud so that definitely inspired me, I'm so glad you caught that reference.
Thank you again
I guess ink and paper are my tools to cope with life. I decided it was time to challenge myself and allow my writing to move from my journals to the internet.
I hope to develop my skills through som.. more..