little note

little note

A Poem by Leviari
"

driveway love

"
I wish I could express how beautiful you are to me,
simply, on a little note
so I could keep it in my pocket 
and one day slide it to you 
before stepping out of the car.
I know you don’t understand my handwriting 
still I can’t help 
but think: you are beautiful 
when you squint your eyes.
And oh 
how I love
            your soft frown 
          and the thin line between your eyebrows
                  that lone strand of hair
slightly curling just 
                           above your right temple and I
             
                                                                          love the minuscule mole on your chin and I
                                   
… hurry inside.

© 2019 Leviari


Author's Note

Leviari
Every kind of feedback is welcome.

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Reviews

I like the feelings that drive him as would an engine but yet, lie hidden underneath. I can sense the fear of exposure of his emotions should they get out. This is unique, I've never seen a poem from this perspective before. Nice job.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Leviari

4 Years Ago

thank you very much!!!
intriguing really, I really like this write, found it captivating

Posted 5 Years Ago


A very nice write here, I enjoyed this

Posted 5 Years Ago


Very nice poem. I think in this day and age, people are only focused on themselves and not others. c:

Posted 5 Years Ago


I imagine your words scribbled on a restaurant or coffee shop napkin, legible or not, she’d treasure it. In a few short lines you created a image of a lovely woman, and how you feel about her. Well done!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Leviari

5 Years Ago

thank you very much!
Indeed you set the scene as you describe being given a lift by someone you secretly admire but dare not tell. It could be a colleague or a driving instructor or just a friend but the protagonist is tongue tied and fantisises about expressing their love only to stop short and feel the frustration. The describing of the freatures of the person gives the impression that close attention is paid to such obsession.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Leviari

5 Years Ago

yes, that's the idea I had in mind. Thank you for stopping by!
i also like the double meaning of the title...he has his "little note" written to her, but also sees himself as of little note to her, she isn't even aware of him.
j.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Leviari

5 Years Ago

thank you for reading! I'm glad you got the references I tried to make!
i think the idea of her not understanding your handwriting parallels the idea that the speaker is too shy to express his feelings, but he can write them down and hope to share one day with her, before it is too late.
For now he watches from inside his safe window...just imagining what he would say to her.
j.

Posted 5 Years Ago


A very expressive ode to your love...well written...I could picture her in my mind...could see her face, so you expressed your feeling well...the scene played out well.

the only suggestion may be to put a comma at the end of your first line...to make the word simply stand out.

A good write, Leviari

Posted 5 Years Ago


Leviari

5 Years Ago

Hello! Thank you for you correction! You're right, the fist line is way better with the comma :) Tha.. read more

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210 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 5, 2019
Last Updated on May 8, 2019
Tags: lovers, note, love, relationship, simple, date, car, driveway, beautiful

Author

Leviari
Leviari

Milano, Milano, Italy



About
I guess ink and paper are my tools to cope with life. I decided it was time to challenge myself and allow my writing to move from my journals to the internet. I hope to develop my skills through som.. more..

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