When you look at me

short free verse poem

When you look at me

don’t look at me

for I am only a mirror

and all the beauty

you claim to see

it’s just the reflection

of you in me. 

Author's Note

soooo... I'm always quite insecure about my writing and I don't really know how I feel about this piece. I like my first stanza and I think it's potentially open to different interpretations, but I worry that the reader might think it doesn't make any sense at all. Moreover, I've tried to introduce a few commas here and there, but I eventually decided that I didn't want to create breaks in the flow. I'm still questioning myself about it.
I guess what I am trying to say is: I'd appreciate as much honest feedback as I can get!

Reviews

[JamesTleBourn]

I love this poem (along with everyone else who reviewed: we say this for a real reason!). Correct me if I am wrong, but I see this as a statement coming from someone who has been given such praise they feel they don't deserve, that they are reaching out to humility and commanding the other person "don't look at me...the beauty you claim to see it's just the reflection..." They feel like it's uncalled for attention that is exalting an insecure person beyond what they feel is deserved, so they desperately try to "reflect" the attention and praise to the other person, the one who seemingly deserves more praise.

Again, correct me if I am wrong, but this is how I view this poem. Despite its multiple possible interpretations, it is lovely. Good read.

James

[Leviari]

Hi James, thank you very much for your kind words. Your interpretation is spot on!

[Serendipity Planet]

I think it is a beautiful poem :)

[R.E. Ray]

A precise short poem that reinforces the old line, “We see what we want to see.” A well crafted poem.

[Leviari]

thank you very much!

[Ted Kniffen]

Leviari, you have a special talent, and you write quite well. You've said English is not your first language, but you certainly have a command of it.

The brevity of your poem tells the reader all they need to know about your feelings in this. The only thing I would consider (and it's just me) would be to reverse the first two lines...to my ear it would read smoother...but it is good as is.

A good write.

[Leviari]

Thank you! And I see what you mean about the first two lines, it's actually sounds good reversed. I really appreciate your insight, I'll wrap my head around it :)

[kitty]

Beautiful: just beautiful. Tells an amazing story in just those words! Thank you for sharing.

[Leviari]

thank you for your feedback :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Again Jacob has it right and I rarely look at other reviews before reviewing. This is a well balanced short piece filled with self doubt and love for another. Punctuation is a choice in poetry. The purists and teachers like it but for me poetry is a freer art form where we can use punctuation for clarity or allow the reader to interpret as they read it.

[Leviari]

I really appreciate your feedback, thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you don't know how good you are, Leviari.
i like the humbleness displayed here...all the good i am is a reflection of you.
And is what you mean and have done to and for me.

But i also hear you on the insecurity...there are so many times i feel like a fraud and want to just burn everything i have ever written...throw it all on the scrap heap...
other days...maybe i am okay with it...ask me tomorrow...:)))

[Leviari]

ahah that's so nice of you, thank you!
It's good to know I am not the only one facing this struggles, but I guess we just have to be our harshest critics!