Chapter 1: Crashed

When a young man is sent to investigate a island, he goes missing. Then they send a young woman to find him. But things go wrong, and no one knows where they are.
They are trapped on a island with lots of metal and unknown lifeforms. They are undiscovered.




In the future, new islands have formed everywhere the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. A chopper is flying to one of these islands in the Atlantic from somewhere unknown. Two people are on it. The pilot and a passenger. Apparently
the passenger is looking for something. For the past 2 years, rumors have been spreading about unknown liveforms on the islands. This man is searching for those lifeforms, in hopes that It will bring him fame and fortune.
His name was Juan Stulow. However, he preferred to be addressed as "Swift". As his nickname suggests: he was very fast. and good with a knife. He was tall with black hair, white skin, and blue eyes. He looked sort of like a marine. He had a M4-A1 Carbine (Kind of like a Sub-Machine Gun) strapped to his back, his right pocket held ammo, and his left pocket held a hunting knife, clipped to his right side he had 3 hand-grenades, and clipped to his left side was 2 C4s. He was prepared for the worst.

After flying for several hours, Swift was bored out of his mind and asked if they were close to one specific island. It was called "Tropicoast". Tropicoast was a large island which was very tropical, there was many bodies of water too. Most of which were very dangerous.
Scientists have said that they have seen many unknown lifeforms on that island, and two years ago they sent some marines to investigate. However, they disappeared and never came back. The pilot and Swift are planning on making a base there and bringing loads of marines to investigate with Swift, but those choppers were behind Swift's chopper.
 "How close are we?"
said Swift, swishing his hair. "About 500 miles." said the pilot, undisturbed from his glare out the front window. About an hour passed and Swift was resting, feet relaxed on top of the seat ahead of him. A storm was getting louder and louder, then they heard thunder so close that Swift woke up and jumped. It was raining so hard and lightning started to crackle. "Wow, this storm  Then, it hit them. A jolt of electricity hit the chopper with a huge jolt of electricity and they went hurling to an island directly below them. "Oh my God!" screamed Swift at the top of his lungs. The chopper was near the ground, and they both knew they were going to die. But then the pilot tripped over a control and the chopper changed angle
and they were heading towards a lake. "Brace yourself!" The pilot shouted. They both the knew the end was near.

They hit the lake with a loud crack. They heard things starting to break, and Swift quickly smashed the side-window with his knife and fist, and swam to shore, the pilot quickly grabbed a backup supply container and then swam out.

 When they both got to shore, the pilot was injured. "You're badly hurt, bind those wounds!" said Swift impatiently. The pilot tried binded his injuries but there was barely any supplies (He used a torn piece of parchment in the backup supply container). and he and Swift stepped out. The storm was stopping. "So we're stuck here?!" screamed Swift furiously, stomping his foot."I think I can patch this chopper up, but I need the materials." said the pilot, with worry on his face. "Can they be found here?", "Yes, I think so.", "Then let's split up."

Swift went one way, and the pilot went the other, now the pilot saw many things when venturing out. Including trees with wood so red like blood, it was very peculiar. red wood, the leaves were red aswell and all trees looked wet "The rain, obviously." The pilot said to himself. It looked ominous, it looked like blood, but it was just dew, everything was so peculiar. Yet all the rest was even more so. Crevices, caves, ravines, one of which looked like abandoned ruins, It wasn't long before the pilot found his first material. "Iron ore!" yelled the pilot. "I can smelt this and then use this to put some protective armor on the front, Now I just need something sticky to stick those broken wires together, a knife, and a forge or some heat!" He took in a breath. He was just about to say something else to himself when he heard a grunting noise. He didn't even have enough time to look behind him. The thing already knocked him over and stabbed its claw into his back. The pilot took one last look and saw the thing looked strangely like a lizard on two feet with sharp toes firmly in his back, his sight started to fade, and he saw his blood spurting out. He was in intense pain, and no one was there to help him. "Help... Please..." and then he was dead.

Reviews

[BlueRex]

I edited it! Please everyone re-read my chapter!

[BlueRex]

I agree with you two because I wrote this in like 30 minutes and not that good. I'll edit it and you guys should reread it some time.

[♥SunkissAngel♥]

I agree with the person below me you do need to put more description in to this and make the story flow.Right now it seems choppy and it got me lost. You need to use more commas and stuff like that. Other than that i like the idea of the story..

~Sunkiss2018♥

[billie peach]

You need more description, and your tenses are mixed up. Also, on the dialogue, they are their own paragraph. You need to make the paragraphs more descriptive and constructive. You are also misusing commas a lot. When the pilot and Swift split up, you have to say that "It wasn't long before the PILOT found his first material" or "It wasn't long before the LATTER found his first material." Another thing, when the pilot dies there is no description at all of how he felt when he was dying. I could understand that in first person, but third person point of views usually have a lot more description. All together it is a good idea.Good job!

~ Moonlace