A Sinner's Cry

A woman having an affair with a married man

A Sinner's Cry

I really don’t know where we are going tonight

 

                              Is the darkness enough to hide our sins?

 

  The moon is glowing….                          

                           

                                       Too bright

               It’s blinding my sight

 

                              Can you stand it?

 

 

Somewhere amidst the naked trees

       Standing like veins against the night sky

 

I can hear you child crying

               He’s screaming………… 

                                   He is burning with fever

He wants his father

                   (Please you should go)

 

Your wife is so confused

                        She’s got her head in her hands

 

She is dying a slow death

                       Slow poison.

 

 

 

Baby I love you so

  But my head is spinning

 

In circles, and again in…..I don’t know what’s happening

                                 

   You were supposed to leave them

But you didn’t….or maybe

 

               You did.

 

 

My veins are blue with a criminal’s blood

                

                              (Your son is dying…….)

 

Oh I am such a sinner….

                      

   Your wife…..

 

No baby, go back

                               Can you hear me?

Yes you, go back

                    They need you

 

Stop looking at me with those eyes

 

           Stop please…..

 

     Please

 

I can’t……

              

                                    No…                     

Author's Note

first time I wrote about affairs...what do you think?

Reviews

[Dominique Lambright]

Wow it was very interesting. I like how you positioned each line it added to the affect. Very well written as well :)

[~VertoAtrum~]

It seems almost like the person is conflicted between wanting to be with the person, and letting them go back to their family. It's always a bad feeling, like you're being torn like paper. Good poem.

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Thanks a bunch:-):-):-D.

[KeeD]

This is deep, this is a conflict, some sort of dilemma between a mistresses heart and her conscience. It's never easy being the other woman but its even harder not being her. Whats wrong, whats right that's something that people can debate and fight about all day all that's left is a choice, either she stays or she walks away. This is a beautiful piece that speaks about the pain, the emotion and the attachment that this scenario has to offer. You bring all the emotion to life in this piece.

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Thanks so much Keegan:-):-):-D.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and sad poem. Sometime we dance on a dangerous line. We want to stop and we keep going to a destine bad ending. I like the flow of thoughts and the strong and logical ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Ezekiel Silver]

Incredible expression of emotions.

[Dr. Wood ?]

very powerful and sadly too common today and forever...

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Thanks a lot Dr. Wood:-):-):-D.

[Pax]

people do commit mistakes ~ that's normal... but indulging into those mistakes making it a prolong affair... then that's another matter... its easy to fall under the cracks but getting out of it is way to hard than expected...

The story is mysterious as its intriguing start... i like it, though you leave me hanging again with a question did she really stop... now i wonder... but then that's the way it is, right? letting your reader take the next step of the story... and i think you have done it well my friend... great job~

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Thank u so much Pax for taking the time to read and review this. It means a lot my friend:-):-):-D.

[s y e]

I liked this, there were some good lines in it! I loved the structure of the write. :) it was really good, well done. ✌

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Thank you so much Sye:-):-):-D.

[Rebecca Buller]

This was simply...wow. You can feel the torment, the agony, coursing through this young woman. So many conflicting emotions. She cares for this (married) man but, even in her youth, she knows this relationship is wrong. Will she walk away? Will he walk away and confess his indiscretion to his wife? We simply don't know what happens and that adds even more mystery to this brilliant piece. Thank you for sharing:)

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Thank you so much for that wonderful review. Im really glad you liked it:-):-):-D

[Rebecca Buller]

You're very welcome, my friend:)

[Leigh]

I think you have captured the confusion and mixed emotions both are feeling in this snapshot of dialogue that could be part of a book or play


She is dying a slow death
Slow poison.

Is good and encapsulates feeling very well, great job

[Poussiere D'Ange]

Thanks a lot Leigh:-):-):-D.