I'm a stickler for spelling, so i figured i'd let you know :P
Line 7, i think should be love
Line 11, should be too
Line 13, should be spirit
Sorry if i seem rude, i just thought you should know
I love this poem! The flow is nice. It's unique, i love it, good job!
Oh sweety :) !!
So, i loved this poem, i can see you cared a lot about the words' sounds in some verses (i even caught a rhyme somewhere in the poem) which is great !!
You "opened" the poem with the right words to make us get what you feel, the atmosphere (kill, murder, steal, all words that make us dip inside the atmosphere of frustation and sadness your feelings belong to), anyway coming to the end of the poem we see the "light at the end of the tunnel", we see a girl who is ready to get over this situation and take back control of her future, so again: I LOVED IT !! =D
This is really good. I have a friend who would be able to relate to this perfectly. I like the last three lines. They wrap everything up nicely. Good write.
Sometimes we want a certain person to care about us, while they constantly keep hurting our feelings. But, in our obsession with that person, we actually become blind and stop looking at the persons around us - persons who care about us and have been caring for as long as we know them. We may even overlook a bigger love than the one we are suffering for, love that has been there from the start.
Good write, as always.
It a new year and a new me. I have deleted my old information and have decided to start over. Life is full of ups and downs, disapointments, regrets, mistakes...but all these things make us who were a.. more..