Song of a Winter Attic

winter

Sheets of white ice double the frozen glass,

the net curtains break up the frost and the

smell of damp books and insects, autumn apples,

moments of childhood under eaves, I am

not in sorrow apart from sorrowing, a terrible desire

is born to stop all clocks,a victim of time and snow,

my grave is hidden under the dusty floorboards, so

scratching with broken fingers I search for my sorrow.

Reviews

[FJ Davis]

HD imagery brings starkly alive what, at first, appears to be mere "stir craziness."
Melancholy's presence qualified, but not entirely denied.
Because you strike me as a natural scientist, you just seemed intent on uncovering the source of your unpleasant emotion.
But, what of the zombie-like references to "grave" and "broken fingers?'--the unlikely entrapment in your childhood home.
A nightmare (perhaps, even, a waking nightmare); not exactly the screaming variety--still, not the kind of winter song Bing Crosby would have been caught (not dead) crooning.
Whatever the actual backstory, Leslie, this is a stunning and strongly compelling piece of work.

[icaros13]

Sometimes, a poem affects you in such a way that you are speechless. That is where I am... In my mind I find myself in that attic you described so perfectly in so few words, on all fours, helping you search for your sorrow, scratching and digging at the floorboards. Masterful writing, this is. Cheers!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

you made an attic sound so lovely...xx

[Southern Cross]

You create the most beautiful imagery floating on the wind as barely a whisper and yet so profound.

[None]

I love the format of this. So refreshing. Each line literally feeds and flows into the next, like the mind on a though. Great work. Very e.e. cummings.

[h d e rushin]

"Not in sorrow apart from sorrowig, a terible desir
is born to stop all clocks, a victim of time and snow".

What a fabulous stanza, a lush poem all by itself. It sounds so very much
like Frost, dark but so very grand; not a bad standard to be compared to.
good work, hder.

[Emily B]

your skill with words moves me beyond this place where i sit and feebly type

[Kaya]

This is so moving, I think i'm in awe of your skill with manipulating words. In particular your line 'Not in sorrow apart from sorrowing' caught my eye, but every word seemed almost chosen, and It just provoked a whole new level of emotions. Really good.

[Alicia Beavis]

Nice use of enjambment throughout this piece. The ending is so hauntingly sad and disturbing! It really finished this piece off nicely.

[...]

. oh, this is heartbreaking ... i have experienced this emotion ... i would actually pray and pray and pray ... that my life would end ... that i would literally drown in my sorrow ... then, i began to express it ... and literally wrote my way out of repression and grief ... i think you've done a brilliant job of expressing this intense feeling ... the images are vivid and extremely compelling ... excellent work ...