A Lifting of Birds

Hard as an empty factory,a sea of glass

eaves brown with rust and first rain

squares of light oblongate through broken panes

as the day creeps, almost a church service

with the soft thrashing of pigeon wings and

shadows across blackened brick

as a oil moon creeps over a battered roof

and a grey steel door bangs an obscure tact

the first cold green starting, newspapers

and plastic bags flattering like shot birds, 

a naked lightbulb swings over an empty chair,

first trace of an evening breeze failing, so

there is little hope here, nothing too much to save

just the idle gathering of soot and distant traffic.

Reviews

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Perfect vivid imagery that brings this to life!

[KAREN]

The imagery is right on, and the poem itself is sad, but written well.

[Ed Hart]

my goodness, here's an excellent poem...a moderately rare event at the cafe, served up in style

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

You give the reader four senses, clasping a hand as we walk through the structure. I see all you write about, can hear broken glass crunch under the footfalls. I smell oil, grease, and paint. I feel the souls who labored here, for some cannot, or will not leave.
Absolutely stunning writing.
Thank you for transporting me.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a great write. I loved the imagery written within the piece. I loved the flow of this poem. I could tell that this piece was about being abandoned by someone that you knew or loved. I think this was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

[larryb]

Well done....a perfect write

[Mary]

A vivid picture of quiet abandonment; haunting, beautiful and desolate at the same time. I love the images of "squares of light through broken panes... soft thrashing of pigeon wings ... blackened brick." To me, your poem, paints a somber picture of a present no longer relevant to the visitor.

[...]

. there is much poetry here ... music too ... your words are vivid ... and haunting ... the sadness is there ... but there's also a sense of seeing poetry in a plain day ... and that's a celebration of simplicity ... for the shades of gray that life is, there are words like yours that make those shades ravishing ... i agree with emily ... this is a masterpiece ...

[SLW]

This is so vivid, filmic even, you transported me to where you were writing about. I love the line "and plastic bags flattering like shot birds" what an image! and what a closing stanza.

[Whiskurz]

Awesome word choices.....Great piece......Whisk