The Sparrow`s Order

A rural event

I walk between a forest and a river,

one male, one female,

they are both grey.

They are filled with relics,

skulls peek between trees,

the path is ringed with rainwater.

The wind is before time,

I am a black box in a falling plane,

unable to register panic.

Cat children whine in the undergrowth,

like lovers tumbling in fern.

A lost playing card, the nine of hearts.

A dead sparrow,

frozen in the track of a departed tractor,

seems to say :

This is not your place !

Take your sorrow and leave !

Reviews

[Norma M Sutton]

I like this.

[Archia]

This is quite intriguing. I think there's some deeper meaning, that I don't understand, but I don't mind that. I like knowing what I see in this, which is many different aspects. I enjoyed the part at the end about the sparrow, that was really good.

[SheActsLikeSummer]

Very good. The title really caught my attention, I thought it would be cool, and you proved me right. The second stanza sounded kinda cannibalistic, which really added to the... theme? Hmm... well, wonderful job.

[Light and ashes]

Really cool poem and interesting poem! Thanks for the review :) Thought I would return the favor.

[recantichize]

excellent voice and style. truly lovely.

[MOON]

Black box in a falling palne immune to panic. Very well written.

[An Ordinary Woman]

the sparrow doesn't fair well when his spot is taken over- so true of many creatures. A lovely write!

[Elaenor Aisling]

You express so much within these few lines. The picture you paint is haunting, yet lovely. Very good write!

[Eric Cox]

Cool. Excellent piece. Love the fantasy and imagery. Nice pen upon this.