Ramona In A Hammock

she is..

not brown grass, not spindle trees

                 nor sloppy suns embrace you

you sway in a summer hammock,

                 your shape unique,

                 a collection of eyes and glass,

no description ; time has limped to a stop,

                 the hours windless,

                 a girl at quiet under the sky.  

Reviews

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

very romantic mood, in my opinion: the girl is given importance in the depicted scene without being portrayed as the most perfect entity in the world

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for your great review, that is what I (tried) to do here...

[Einstein Noodle]

well said ..drew me into the wondrous moment ..and oh how i loved Ramona ... really! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in high school .. i was able to entice a look or two from her ..but she was off for other shores ;( beautiful Ramona! great lines ...every one ..love the sloppy sun contrast .. :)
E.

[Leslie Philibert]

Ramona actually exists, I saw her at the centre for young people with behavioural problems where I work Thanks for looking at this !

[Einstein Noodle]

her shape is shapeless in the hammock ..the glass makes her fragile ... she's at peace with herself in closing ... of course she is real ... i went to school with her ;)))) i am glad you commented on my comment ...it brought me back to read again ..well done sir!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love that "a girl at quiet under the sky"

you give us such a feel for this person..not just a visual...

beautiful poetry....concise, just what is needed.

but that is not surprising with you.

j.

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for looking at this. Praise from a poet of your quality is praise indeed ! Have a great week.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A scene so well set as always in words that paint deep colours like a quiet portrait hanging in a gallery.
A retro feel to this one Leslie of times gone but remembered.

[Leslie Philibert]

Ramona..what can I say ? I look down from a window at work and there she was, in real life

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Amazing. The poetic aspect!

[Valentine]

I can picture her, eyes closed, a book at her side, drifting off to sleep in the warm sun. Come on summer. Valentine

[Leslie Philibert]

Ramona is a real girl...she will de delighted that she is, in a small way, for ever spoken about in a poem !

[Ken Simm.]

I love this. Timeless descriptions of lazy days. Such a choice use of words. Excellent. Brings on so many enjoyable moods. A truly lovely love poem.

[Leslie Philibert]

Dear Ken, thanks for the kind words. I have to write short poems as the more I write, the more I notice that I have no talent for extended imagery ! Thanks for the review, and my best wishes