the wrong summer

as it says

..a sun bounces off my shell

the rained on attempt to hide

the damage the hurter from

inside my  back is full of resin

and knots from a black apple

tree all the rivers show a new

face with old teeth and lips

that suck the failed light

all this makes me walk like

a deep sea diver grubbing in

the silt of sudden waves that

soak the drinking loam of

a weakened birth as a sun bounces..

Reviews

[Coyote Song]

This is very compelling. Such images and descriptions give one a deeply sad feeling, as if something just isn't right in life. Such a well done poem.

[Lyn Anderson]

Sometimes we feel a tremendous sense of despair and emptiness even in the most beautiful of weather.

[Tina Kline]

This brings to me a sense of trouble, despair and a dark helpless struggle.

The descriptions in this are powerful, unique, full of emotion and quite impressive. This is great work.

[V]

Well-chosen words and original pattern. I especially like the black apple image and the repetition of the first line in the last one. Your structure adds to the tone, cleverly crafted.

[heyitssadie]

Really nice. As i go through it, the scene comes before my eyes. Really intriguing. Poetic