Gretchen at the Spinning Wheel

after Franz Schubert

wordless at this moment

virginal in a closed room

dark as a berry

Gretchen maid of wood

webbed as an old barn

eyes drops of glass

that seek a window

empty of steps, cast

ing a look at

all that brings no favour or

softly turns the wheel that

darkly bares the thread;

the cloth of love

forsaken, heartpace of an

empty view,a sort of end.

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

I am with Jacob, the way you split the lines works beautifully here. You have an intuitive, intelligent way of writing that pulls the reader in and makes you want to keep reading.

[Coyote Song]

A very tragic and sad scene, the coming to an end.
An impressive poem with splendid imagery.

[Emily B]

oh, oh . . . i see her and how very tragic to be at that sort of end

i am spellbound

[Tina Kline]

A very well written and captivating poem.
Splendid work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like how you break up your lines...it creates wonderful rhythm...
it spins that thread of music in your poetry...she turns that wheel hoping to thread some kind of love to replace that empty view.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Beautifully depicted the story of loves breath as gretchen turns the wheel and her thoughts turn to Faust. Wonderful poetry with such simple, evocative inages.

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for the review, I heard recently a song from Schubert, and the theme jumped at me..