Wrong

something is wrong

There are too many moons,

bells are under the church.

The night is not as dark as a wet ditch

and the morning stops as soon

as it starts; as you leave the coal

in the oven still glows, the door

closed twice to make it properly shut.

Please take this day; wrap it in string.

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

There is without doubt something not right there.
I like the ominous feel of this great poem!

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks very much for the kind words

[Tina Kline]

You're welcome.

[Coyote Song]

I like this. It sure sounds like a warning or omen of something not so nice approaching.
Impressive poem!

[Leslie Philibert]

Pleased you like this and thanks for the review !

[Coyote Song]

You're very welcome.

[Imogen.E]

Great poem, really a fantastic piece of work :)

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for the review and the kind words !

[Sami Khalil]

Marvelous writing as you are poet...:)......................

[Leslie Philibert]

Pleased you liked this, best wishes

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure, sir...:)......................

[emmajoy]

'There are too many moons, ~ bells are under the church.'

I shut my eyes to find them, Leslie!

Brief words to think more of, the wondering 'if ', 'maybe', 'will it' perhaps.
I want to look at what other reviewers have said, needing a clue.. but.. won't!
Perhaps i'll return another time.
Meantime, as often with your writing, tis intriguing

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks very much for the kind words, and as you write so well yourself I pleased to read this..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you give us bones literally....but between the lines, much meat on these bones...

all those little things that can be just out of place and then cause major problems...we try to be so careful, double checking our lives always...but inevitably we miss something...
the string reminds me of Uncle Billy in "a wonderful life"--string on the fingers as reminders...

really like how much you say with so little.

and i am with ken...can't believe there aren't more views and reviews..especially considering not only your level of writing, but how much you share your thoughts on others' poems.

jacob

[Leslie Philibert]

Your opinion is for me important, as I know you to be a talented writer and teacher !

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Brilliant write. Truly brilliant!

K.

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks very much for looking at this, best wishes !

[Marie Anzalone]

Sometimes a piece of string is all we have to hold days like these together with. As the saying goes, when we are joyous, we like the music; when we are sad, we understand the lyrics. I hope you found not just som rotted string, but a good healthy twine and were able to even plant soemthing glad and growing in the process.

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks very much for the review, and the way you use the imagery in your review, itself fine, sensitive lines !