Dig

I was in my garden yesterday

Dig out your face from under the black cake,

count the trees or break the sleep of stones.

Lost the harmed eyes of earth, voiceless childe ;

hidden northern god of rain and wood.

Look for the wet box of pictures, coins and string ;

the old Ford ; the trunked dried roses and

the bombed shreds of childhood.

Look for the broken mask, deep and young,

rootless in the dark leaf mess.

Reviews

[Criss ;)]

Nice piece fella...!
I really liked your these lines,
Dig out your face from under the black cake,
count the trees or break the sleep of stones....here how you want to dig that one n wanna break sleepy one...great write...

i think your thoughts're very nice to write, well expressed fella...
theme's too great to read, to analyse....you made me involve in your this piece to analyse it more..more...n more....you got me fella......!!

well penned, great job :)
have a nice writin'...!!

[RachelReaper]

I love how you described the ground as being the "black cake". I thought that was very original. You've got a knack for wordplay.

[Astro]

For some reason, by the end of the poem, I had this sense that what is your garden, could be the burial spot of someone's time capsule that you have come upon in your tending. Then realizing in the end that among the contents and leafy mess is a mask of your youth. I know this wasn't the intention, but it is a testament to the quality of imagery that your piece possesses if I am afforded strange visions in its reading. Well done Leslie.

[Ency Bearis]

Remarkable metaphor with such imagery.Great work.

[Holly Mason]

to look back upon all the things we have had or lost or worse just forgotten is a gift
to intertwine those elements into each of our own gardens...a blessing
I will walk along and think....how many masks have I left broken do I have anything I need to clean up or that I could work on in my now garden
I will leave my dark leaf mess to fertilize and let others learn from
I could rake and bag it...but that would only leave me empty not with purged thoughts rather hidden from eyes
thoughts beautifully laid out for my mind to dig and unearth...in the wide open
this is lovely
thank you for sharing truly

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

right into the first sentence I knew how I had to review this..I may add a conclusion at the end; knowing me I probably will.

"Dig out your face from under the black cake,
count the trees or break the sleep of stones."

Wow, the first line reminds of a plate of compopst under the black cake, and it's like you're prompting flowers and preparing their minds for their arrival into the air and sun while in earth..the last three words--brilliant...describing the unconscious state, after setting it up and juxtaposing it with the more yang future conscious state. genius.

"Lost the harmed eyes of earth, voiceless childe ;
hidden northern god of rain and wood."

damn, this kind of speaks for itself, but I mean you've given the earth a face and described raw elements and character in a very concise poem space. well done.

"Look for the wet box of pictures, coins and string ;
the old Ford ; the trunked dried roses and
the bombed shreds of childhood."

holy s**t, not only are you communicating with plant consciousness (which I find delictably ironic, the way you're pulling it off) but you're creating a delightful labyrinth of thought for the land dwellers to sink their hands (with reincarnated eyeballs) on their fingertips into..it's a bizarre and intense and borderline romantic relationship you're envisioning and expressing. did I say well done already? well done.

"Look for the broken mask, deep and young,
rootless in the dark leaf mess."

this just blows my mind..an excellent summation of the piece, and I'm sure it resonates amazingly and slightly differently to each reader, and I've gotta respect that by simply saying well done one last time. Well done.

[Augustus]

A very effective metaphorical write about everything that we lose along the way as we plod through the journey of our lives. The Present often acts as a blindfold, hiding from us the brooks of pleasure we drank from in the Past. I especially like the opening line, where you implore the reader to dig out of the ground, rather than digging into it. Darkness to light, not vice versa. Well penned indeed! Thank you!

[G!o]

This is like uncaging the secrets beneath the earth. Rich in imagery and metaphors "dig out your face from under the black cake"...i love this line. The writing is compelling and amazing. Every line draws the reader in with intrigue of wanting to know more. This is great Leslie.

[Coyote Song]

This is really well written, I think. The images are powerful and compelling. For how long mankind has been around we never know when we might dug up something from the past, a life no longer with us and important items they had and cherished. I enjoyed this a lot.