Baby

some lines about how difficult it is

the bloody wax of silence ripped out

                           save yourself ;

                           no return ticket.

lash under the weight of a w***e`s breath

                          a little pighead with a big O

                          a fish gasping on a quay

silver arms spark and dance

                         two strangers at tango

                         impossible ; more holes than anything ;

and right this time ? - forget it...

                        nothing fits either ;

                        the b******s have got it wrong again.

Reviews

[David Scott]

The title begs further inspection of the superficial read. Is this "w***e" the "baby"? Have we birthed one? Has a life been aborted? Maybe nothing really? Maybe it is all about never having a "baby"? Never meaning "baby" when we say it? I feel I am only left with the Socratic method of evaluation concerning this write. I will learn something yet if I just find the right question...
Stimulating thoughts.

[emmajoy]

Hmmmmm.. will think this to bed.. reads like a terrible nightmare yet is clearly a terrible day in your life. Extraordinary visuals, part Bosch, part Dali, part Philibert . An unusual form but works well.. like being led by postscripts instead of v.v

[Tina Kline]

Sounds like a very rough moment, a hard day for sure. I like the way you wrote this. Excellent poem with strong imagery and descriptions.

[Trigorin]

Not bad. I feel like the tone and word choice in this is maybe a little too disjointed for my taste, but you have a clear image which you present very well. Good work.

[Emily B]

it is days like this that i wonder