Chapter Three

Raven stopped at the top of the hill and looked back towards the town. He knew that the population were not quite human but that did not excuse them for being so utterly stupid. He patted Onyx on the head and continued his journey down the road. He wondered whether the folks in Cobbleknock were born stupid or was it a trait they acquired the longer they lived in the town. Either way, it presented Raven with a very easy job and one that paid very well. He stopped when he saw the wagon by the side of the road. The two horses that usually pulled the wagon were taking a rest and were grazing peacefully on the grass verge. Sat on the grass, smoking a large pipe was a slightly built man. He looked up and waved as Raven approached. Raven left Onyx to graze with the other horses and sat down by the man.

"Patto, I trust you acquired the goods without too much trouble?" asked Raven.

Patto stood up and smiled. He walked towards the back of the wagon and started to undo the ties at the rear. He pushed back his hair as he freed the ties. His dark tanned skin was topped with red hair that looked at odds with his general appearance. The almost completely black eyes that looked at Raven were unnerving.

"There were two of them guarding him. Most of them went to greet you at the pub. They are surprisingly slow, considering what they are. I expected a little more resistance," said Patto. "Knocked them both out cold and grabbed hold of mouthy."

"Mouthy? He doesn't sound very mouthy," said Raven.

"I may have calmed him down a little," said Patto.

"They are remarkably stupid, aren't they?" said Raven.

“I told you it would be easy. Didn't even have to kill anyone," said Patto.

"Not yet," said Raven, climbing into the back of the wagon.

The bag in the centre of the wagon was still and seemed to contain some kind of huge lump. Raven knelt down and prodded it with a finger. When there was no response he prodded it two more times, then he slapped it before resorting to kicking it repeatedly. Eventually, the bag moved and rolled around the wagon.

"Hey. Quit it," shouted the bag. "And let me out."

Patto climbed into the wagon beside Raven.

"What was it he did again?" asked Patto.

"Slept with the farmer's daughter, then his wife, but worst of all, he ate his chickens," said Raven.

"Some people are just plain greedy," said Patto.

"Yep. We take him to Farmer Rubbit's, collect the gold, and then put a fair distance between us and Cobbleknock," said Raven. "We need to deliver him before dark preferably."

"Does this farmer really have two hundred gold pieces for us?" asked Patto.

"He'd better have," said Raven.

Raven kicked the bag again but his time it did not move.

"I hope he can breathe in there," said Raven.

"He might be able to, but you didn't specify what type of bag to use," said Patto.

“One that he cannot suffocate in might have been the common sense choice,” said Raven.

Raven sighed and undid the bag before emptying the contents on the floor. Walter Badrattle rolled onto the floor and almost immediately got to his knees. Walter looked just like his photograph. He had a straggly ginger beard and facial hair, together with that pearly white grin that all the people of Cobbleknock had. Nevertheless, for an inhabitant of Cobbleknock, he was peculiarly handsome.

"Fooled you, didn't I?" said Walter. "You thought I was dead?"

Raven produced the contract from his coat and showed it to Walter.

"If you read this carefully, you will see that it doesn't mention the condition of goods upon delivery," said Raven. "Which, basically means that it doesn’t matter if you’re dead or alive? Do not make the mistake of thinking that either of us cares. Now you can sit outside of the bag with Patto or you can get back in it."

"You'll never get there in time. It's a full day's ride from here and it'll be dark by then," said Walter. "You won't hold me in this bag then. I'll kill you both."

Raven and Patto looked at each other and smiled.

"Nah. No, you won't," said Raven. "You can try if you must, but like I said it doesn't stipulate whether you should be dead or alive. So, you should really hope that we do reach there before nightfall."

"Maybe we travel along really slowly just so we can have some fun when the sun comes down," said Patto.

"That would eat into beer time," said Raven. "I'd prefer to have time for relaxation and refreshment."

"Shame," said Patto.

“You guys both need a personality transplant, do you know that?” said Walter.

Raven turned to Walter and ruffled his hair.

"Now, would you like to go back in the bag or would you prefer to stay out of the bag?" asked Raven.

"You put me back in that bag, I'm just going to tear myself back out of it," said Walter.

Raven looked at Patto.

"We should just kill him," said Patto.

"It's tempting but I think the farmer would really prefer him alive," said Raven.

“His wife and daughter would,” said Walter.

Raven slapped Walter hard across the back of the head. Walter yelped but did not say anything. He just rubbed the back of his head and muttered inaudibly.

“Don’t be disrespectful,” said Raven.

Raven smiled at Patto.

“We deliver him alive,” said Raven.

"You're the boss," said Patto.

"You driving or me?" asked Raven.

"I will. I can't listen to his loose mouth for a minute longer," said Patto. "So, I am driving."

"Okay, let's go then," said Raven. "I'll leave him out of the bag for now."