Marks of the Past - 23

Chapter 23

We waited two whole days for our letter to arrive. In that time I accomplished absolutely nothing in terms of improvement.

“How can you have learned nothing when we’ve been training nonstop for the past few days?” Kyle had groaned, running his hands through his hair. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles. 

I’d simply crossed my arms. “Just because you’ve been trying to train me doesn’t mean I’ve actually retained anything.” 

I felt terrible because Kyle truly was trying his best. He offered hundreds of excuses for why my magic wasn’t working. Maybe it was weakened. Maybe I was too old for my magic to properly be learned. When I’d asked if I actually had magic - suggesting that maybe Mark had been the only reason I’d been able to perform magic in the first place - Kyle had responded by claiming that my magic was the reason Mark had chosen me in the first place. 

Simon offered bits of advice too, but after the first night it became clear that I was getting nowhere and we needed a plan. Luckily, Kyle apparently had the planning skills of Nik. We’d sent a letter to James in hopes for negotiation. 

I was less than thrilled about the agreement, but Kyle wanted to ensure that we at least attempted to speak peacefully before resorting to violence. I’d almost hoped we wouldn’t get a response. It would be easier to hate him if he didn’t have a chance to defend his actions. 

Simon was out of breath when he barged into Kyle and I’s unproductive training session. A few snowflakes rested on his curls, sign of the ongoing storm that had been raging outside for days now. The Republic rarely had storms this bad, this late in the year and I was beginning to think Mark had something to do with it. 

“What does it say?” Kyle asked excitedly, facing lighting up. 

Simon rolled his eyes, tossing the letter to Kyle and peeling off his thick boots. “I didn’t read it yet, obviously.” 

Kyle took a seat on the couch and I perched beside him, watching as he broke the seal and pulled out the contents. There was only one word written in the very center, the handwriting neat as though taught impeccably. Deal. 

The younger boy let out a sigh of relief. “He agreed. Simon, go grab me a pen and paper from the kitchen so I can set up the terms.”

Simon obliged and I gave Kyle a look. “Terms?”

“Yes. How many people we’re allowed to bring with us to the talk, if we’re bringing weapons, where we’re meeting.” He didn’t even look up as he spoke, bent over his work. 

“You seem to know a lot about peace treaties,” remarked Simon. 

Kyle gave an absentminded shrug. “You forget I was in training to be a soldier. Miryir wanted to arrange a truce with the rebels but we could never catch them in time. They made the younger kids be messengers.”

More expendable, I thought to myself. It was reasonable, I knew, but I could imagine anyone sending Liam or Lexi out into a battlefield. 

“So what happens when we meet him?” Simon asked quietly. “We just demand your friends and family back? Let him know that there’s a murderous king on the loose that Leila’s been nursing back to health for months now?” 

I shot him a glare that Mark would’ve been proud of but waited for Kyle to answer. 

“We let him know honestly what’s been happening, though maybe leave out the whole thing being Leila’s fault.” Guilt tugged at my gut and I didn’t correct him. “If he doesn’t listen, we’ll use threats and worst case we attack.” 

“Who will be talking?” I asked, though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer. 

Kyle didn’t hesitate. “You know who it will be, Leila. You’re the only one James knows and I … I think he’ll listen to you.”

I scoffed. “You’re forgetting how much he hates me.”

Kyle finally looked up, a small smirk on his lips. “I’m betting that he doesn’t despise you as much as he lets on or he would’ve left you to bleed out on the docks.”

I gaped at him. “He did leave me to bleed out.”

“If you wouldn’t have attacked him back, he probably would’ve even carried you home,” Simon said drily. 

“Seriously?” I hated how right they were. “Look, why can’t Kyle just be the mediator? He already acts like a diplomat and I’m sure if he gets frustrated he won’t accidentally put someone into a coma.”

Kyle waved an arm. “Leila, face it. You haven’t made anything ‘happen’ for days now. If James really makes you angry, it’ll be a miracle if something magical occurs.”

Oh how I wanted to drive my knife right into him sometimes. How in the world had Nik and the others put up with this? In my head, I could hear Jonah talking about Kyle in his little announcer voice, saying that Kyle was the only one who could make Rave laugh. 

It’s a coping mechanism, I realized. I was a stranger so he was protecting himself by seeming cold and distant. He didn’t trust me yet, which was perfectly logical considering I had in fact ‘nursed Mark back to health’. I’d hoped that maybe offering to rescue the Shadows would earn some more points, but apparently not… 

“We’ll have your back,” Simon assured me as I snapped out of my thoughts. “You don’t have to worry about James getting anywhere near you.”

“That’s not what I’m afraid of,” I mumbled. 

“Why are so you against speaking to him then?” 

I didn’t have an answer because honestly I wasn’t sure either. Was it because I’d orphaned him and I felt responsible for his pain? Was it because I was afraid that my efforts to negotiate would fail? 

“You’re afraid to talk to him in person because it means you actually have to confront him,” Kyle guessed. 

“You don’t want him to hurt your family if you fail.” 

“You think he’ll blame you for killing his family and he’ll want you dead.”

I was shaking slightly when I spoke again, the words forced from my lips with such force that both Simon and Kyle took a step back. “I’m afraid that if I have to hurt him, I won’t be able to.” 

There. I’d said it. 

Kyle blinked. “Leila, he stabbed you. He took your family from you.”

“And I did the same to him - only my actions were permanent. He took me in when no one else would - even if it was for other reasons.” And maybe, just maybe, I’d felt my heart flutter when he spoke and a blush rose to my cheeks when he talked to me like I was a person and not a curse. 

“If it came down to a fight, would you defend yourself from him?” asked Kyle, voice quiet. 

I hesitated. “If he attacked first, then maybe. But I don’t want to hurt him unless I have to - I’ve caused him enough pain.” 

Kyle cursed under his breath, mumbling something about stupid morals. 

It also had to do with the fact that every time I thought about defending myself - about using a weapon in general - I could only see Aron’s pained expression as he fell with blood spilling from his chest. 

“Does it really matter?” Simon questioned. 

Kyle shrugged. “It changes some of my plans.” He was silent for a little while before, “Leila, how do you think you’re even going to kill Mark again?”

To be fair, I hadn’t really thought out the details … 

“A knife to the heart, I guess. We can figure it out once we have the others-”

Kyle shook his head. “Please, I don’t want to think about the after right now. We’re scheduled to meet James tomorrow at noon and I’d like to get through that part first.” 

There was something else he wasn’t telling us. I could tell by the way he seemed to be biting his lip as if that could prevent the secrets from spilling out. But I decided not to press the issue. The last thing I needed was Kyle to let me die if James brought back up tomorrow. 

“I think I’ll head upstairs to get some rest,” I whispered. The two boys nodded and wished me a goodnight. 

After I’d crept up the stairs and shut the door to my room, I quickly grabbed a small bag and filled it with my new daggers and dressed myself in dark colors before slipping out the window and dropping to the ground. 

The wind bit at my cheeks, daring me to turn back. 

I pushed on ahead knowing that this was my only chance to rescue my friends and family without interacting with James. Even if a small part of me did want to see him in private. 

I just had to hope he wouldn’t drive a knife through my heart this time instead of my leg.

The windows of his mansion were dark as I arrived at the iron gate. The wind spat snow at my face and made my cheeks burn from the cold but I was grateful for it nonetheless. Now I wouldn’t have to disguise my footprints as I walked - the falling snow would fill them in. 

I grabbed the bars of the gate and shook it slightly but they made no sign of budging. 

With a small sigh, I reached further up on the gate and began to heave myself over the top. The snow was the only thing that saved me when I fell to the other side - not graceful at all. 

I allowed myself a quick moment to regain my composure before making my way down the path. Though I knew it would probably be suspicious if anyone saw me, I doubted that James had hired night patrolmen - especially in this weather. 

Apparently I was dead wrong in that assumption because I rounded a corner and immediately spotted the telltale dark uniform of patrolmen. They were boys - not much older than me. One of them caught sight of me and tapped the other one on the shoulder. I took advantage of their momentary confusion to thrust my hand forward in one of the poses that Kyle had shown me. 

The boys clutched at their heads and I thought I saw a trickle of blood from their noses before I turned and darted away. Hopefully whatever I’d done to them would last long enough that I could get inside without them sounding an alarm. 

My heart in my throat, I raced to the side of the mansion where the bedrooms were. I assumed mine would be empty so I counted the windows down the side. Since the rooms were on the second floor, I would have to scale the wall to reach them. I climbed onto the lower window, hoisting myself up by using the jagged edges of the bricks as hand holds.

There was a balcony right above me so all I had to do was stretch and jump a tiny bit before working my fingers onto the floor of it. I used the wall to walk my feet up to the balcony and then pulled the rest of my body up to meet it. 

I laid on the ground for a moment - deciding that I should make it out of there alive that I’d start working out so it wouldn’t take all of my energy just to climb a wall. 

Once I’d caught my breath, I tested the door to see if it was unlocked. The knob didn’t move so I slammed the hilt of my knife against it and knob dropped to the ground with a soft crack.

My first thought when I stepped into the room was that the bed had been moved. 

A lamp flickered to life beside the bed, illuminating a tired face that peered at me sleepily. “You’re a few hours early,” James mumbled. 

I froze, heart hammering in my chest. My fingers grasped the hilt of my knife tighter. 

James pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes as he yawned and stretched. The way he moved reminded me of the cats that slept in the alleys near my house. Their movements were always slow and deliberate. 

I began to back towards the door. Maybe if I left now, James would assume that I was just a dream - a figment of his imagination. 

“If you try to leave, I’ll sound the alarms,” he threatened when he noticed me shifting my weight. “I promise I won’t call the guards if you stay here, just for a little while.”

He must’ve been confused about my reasons for being there. 

“I’m not here to see you,” I said, voice barely a whisper. “I’m just here to get my friends and family and then I’ll be out of here.”

“Take them,” he said, surprising me. There was a note of boredom in his voice, as though keeping my friends and family had been a game of the past that no longer occupied him. “Take them and leave, Leila.”

I blinked at him, afraid that if I made any movement at all that he’d attack. 

“Come,” he whispered, patting the bed beside him. “Sit with me.”

I opened my mouth to give a response but he shook his head, pushing away the blankets so I had a spot to sit. 

For some reason, my feet obliged him. The bed was soft under me, the blankets made of a fine material that reminded me of … well, I hadn’t felt fabric this amazing before. It must have cost a fortune. 

James moved a bit closer to me and I felt heat rising to my cheeks. “You wanted to talk?” 

He gave a small chuckle in response. “I’ve been wanting to talk for a while now, but you kept running away. Are you going to disappear on me again?”

“Only if you give me reason.” My thoughts were racing a mile a minute. I knew I needed to get to the Shadows and my mom, Lexi, and Liam. But I also wanted to stay here, to listen to what James wanted to tell me. 

Another laugh. I hated that I liked the sound. 

“Can we leave our prior disagreements at the door?” he asked. I gave a small nod, fingers still hovering over the blade of my knife. 

Gently, James reached for the straps of my bag and pulled it away from me. It dropped to the floor almost silently. Then he was pulling away my knife. My fingers uncurled at his touch and he sat the blade on the nightstand. 

“It’s been a long time since we had a heart to heart,” he said under his breath. 

“I think the last time was when I found your mother’s office,” I agreed with him. His gaze darkened and I felt a pang of guilt snap in my chest. “I really am sorry, but I know that doesn’t mean much.” 

He didn’t say anything at first and I was afraid I’d offended him. Then, quietly, “It means the world to me.” 

More silence, as though the entire world was holding its breath and waiting for whatever would come next. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” James said at last. “About how I treated you, the things I said and the things I did. The things I asked of you.” He fell silent for a moment, the only sound was my heart thrumming in my ears. “Life was so much easier when we didn’t know anything about each other.” 

“The day in the rain,” I murmured. 

James gave another tiny laugh. He closed the gap between us again and this time I let him. I could almost feel the rain pouring down around us, pooling at the ground under our feet as he cradled me in his arms and whispered to me that I was going to be okay. 

I think I was the one to move this time. Our arms were touching now, the warmth between us tingling. 

“Leila,” he said, hesitant. “I’m scared.” 

My mind scrambled for what to say next. “Of what?” 

“Myself.” He paused and I could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest when he breathed. “Of what I would do to your family and friends if I didn’t get my way. That’s why I need you to take them and get out of here. Go back to Miryir - or better yet, somewhere that I can’t follow.” 

I was a bit taken aback. “What do you mean?” 

Of course I was grateful for this sudden change in heart, but it was a bit worrying to see this shift like the flip of a coin. 

His fingers shook slightly. I wanted to grab his hand and hold it, to still the trembles. 

“My father warned me not to get attached. He didn’t think you were going to make it through the Redemption. I was … I was prepared to cheat. To run into the arena and kill everyone myself if it meant you would live.” He blew out a breath. “It scared me so I tried to shut the feeling out. I told myself that you were some sort of witch, convinced myself that you’d used your magic to put a spell on me.” 

“How did you even know I had magic?” I asked, trying not to focus on all the other things he’d said. 

I got a shrug in response. “I can’t explain it - it was almost like I could sense magic in people. I think it was a result of my parents both having different types of magic.”

Kind of like Simon being a Cursebreaker then. It seemed magic stemmed from ancestry. 

“I thought you died in the Redemption, Leila. When my father died, it drove me over the edge. I was ready to tear the world apart to bring all of you back so I wouldn’t be alone. Then I saw you in the graveyard, and I thought it was a message.”

“You thought I was a sign that you could fix everything,” I guessed. 

James nodded. “When you all left for Miryir, I tried everything in my arsenal to get the Court to send someone after you. I … I couldn’t lose you again. I thought I did, when we were on the ship back here. They said that I never left your side but I was too broken to notice.” 

I could picture it too. I could see him lying on the deck of a boat, me in a hammock. I could hear the devotion in his voice in the way it shook when he spoke. 

“I’m here now,” I whispered to him. 

James scoffed. “For how long, Leila? How long can you stay and pretend you don’t have the world waiting for you?”

“The world hates me. You don’t.”

“That’s the thing, Leila. Love is a million times more dangerous than hate because the rage that hatred causes will fade one day but love will not die. It will keep burning until it consumes everything.” 

“You would burn down the entire world for me?”

“That’s the problem,” James said, running his hands through his hair and pushing me away at the same time. “The world will go up in flames and it’ll be our fault.”

I knew he was right. I knew it in my heart that love like that was dangerous. 

Then he was leaning in. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. But instead of kissing me, his lips brushed my ear. “The keys are in the top drawer.”

I blinked at him as he pulled away, his eyes filled with something that looked suspiciously like regret.

“I’m guessing you didn’t come here just to visit me,” he guessed, and there was a bit of bitterness in his voice. “Is there anything that I can help with? Or am I not allowed to know why this visit was so sudden?”

“Long story short, I accidentally raised the dead King Mark and he is trying to gain immortality and control over life and death as we speak,” I summarized as I grabbed my knife, bag, and the keys from the drawer. 

“Is there anything I can help with?” repeated James earnestly. 

I shook my head and then corrected myself. “Maybe. I … I don’t know how everything is going to work out. But we might need all the help we can get …” 

James nodded to himself as he pulled the covers back over himself and flicked off the lamp. “Of course. I’ll be here if you need me, okay?”

Never would I forget the anger in his voice when he threatened to take away everything I loved. Never would I forget the agony I’d experienced when he’d stabbed me in the leg and given me an allergic reaction to a sedative. I doubted that James would ever forget the pain he’d felt when Mark had tortured him from my body. 

But that’s where James was right. 

Love was always more powerful than hate and despite everything we’d done to each other, we were still willing to forgive and forget.  

So I padded softly towards the door, and when I was pretty sure he was asleep, I whispered, “I’ll always need you, James,” before slipping out the door and into the corridors of the mansion.

Author's Note

Well... I was NOT expecting that to happen so please let me know the scene (you know which one) was okay in terms of being a) realistic and b) good?? (for lack of a better word). Thanks and enjoy.