Outside the Box - Chapter 22

The final chapter

22 

“I…” I don’t want to tell her. I don’t want to talk. My mind wants to shut down and rest until the pain in my leg disappears and the pain in my heart becomes bearable. 

Aspen already knows the answer. She knows he didn’t make it out. But she wants to hear it from me. She wants to know for sure, her heart wants to hope that there’s a chance he made it on to the boat when she wasn’t looking. 

But we all know Ezra isn’t on the boat. 

“The guards caught up,” I say slowly, voice cracking. “Miguel and I got most of them but Ezra was hit in the stomach. The water was rising fast, there was no way he would’ve made it out.” 

“So you left him?” Aspen seems hurt, tears welling in her eyes. “You left him?!” 

I shake my head, words and tears spilling from my face. “I killed him. He told me it hurt - he knew he would die. So I shot him. He’s gone and I’m sorry.” I sob,” I’m sorry.” 

Aspen seems disgusted with me. Her eyes are full of hatred. 

“I trusted you,” she shouts. “I thought you would’ve helped Ezra to get out alive. But he’s dead - and you were the one who killed him!” 

She runs away, shaking her head and sobbing. I am hurt from Ezra’s death - but I can’t imagine how it must feel for Aspen. I want to ignore what she said to me, but her words hurt almost as much as my wound. 

“Jake, we need to get you looked at by a real medic,” Dr. Barron insists. 

“No,” I protest. “I don’t want to talk.” 

“You don’t have to…,” she begins. 

“Fine,” I say quickly, deciding I don’t want a limp. Dr. Barron runs off to find a medic while Leah and Miguel sneak away to give me space. 

A deep sense of jealousy makes me feel angry at Miguel and Leah - who are falling for each other as Aspen and I fall apart. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. When I pulled that trigger I knew that I would be torn apart from everyone. 

But I couldn’t let Ezra suffer. Maybe someday Aspen will see that and forgive me. 

Dr. Barron returns with a man I haven’t seen before. She explains that he used to be a doctor in the city and he’ll be able to help me. 

I close my eyes and lean back against the side of the boat - now gently rocking in the sky. Whatever the man does to my leg hurts a bit, but I definitely don’t want an infection or anything. I have enough to worry about. 

When the man leaves, Dr. Barron asks if I need anything. I tell her no and she leaves, but a few minutes later returns with a cushion and blanket. 

Since I can’t move anywhere, Dr. Barron helps me onto the cushion and tucks the blanket over me, but I’m propped up so I can see over the side of the boat. The ground is gone, replaced with rushing waters. 

Dr. Barron tells me that soon enough the dam will fill to the top and become just another part of the ocean that surrounds us. 

I don’t believe her. There will always be ruins from the Clans deep under the water - no matter how high it rises. Part of me wonders if maybe one day the water will evaporate and the ruins will be visible or even livable again. 

The hovercraft moves slowly to ensure our safety so there’s an eight hour ride until we reach the edge of the dam, and a one hour release procedure. 

My leg throbs with each heartbeat but I don’t want to use any painkillers. Several of the citizens were injured in the escape - a few died - but I don’t want to use their resources. Besides, the pain of “dying” twice makes this pain seem laughable. 

No one comes to visit me or wish me a good recovery. It’s fine by me, at this point I want to be alone. And I don’t want to see Aspen ever again. Or at least for a few hours. 

I can’t even bare to sleep as the ship and hovercraft make their way over the rapid water below. One wrong move or programming and we’re all goners. But Dr. Barron seems to trust Mental’s tech so I guess I should too. 

The sky is growing dark but the clouds with the rain have cleared. My entire body is still soaked and sore, especially from running with my wound. But sleep doesn’t come. 

Worst of all is the guilt of Ezra’s death tearing away at me from the inside. It claws my stomach, making me sick and dizzy. Aspen was right - it was all my fault. I was the one who shot him. I was the one to ultimately make him die - not the guard. 

A small part of me whispers to find my family. Juliet, Bridget, and my parents might recognize me but they might not as well. 

And I don’t want them to know the person I’ve become. A murderer. 

Juliet should be ashamed to have a brother like me, even if we aren't actually related. Add that to the long list of things I’ll need to tell the citizens. 

Not to mention the fact that I don’t think Aspen will help me, and Miguel and Leah are probably mad at me too. It’s a good thing Gretchen and the Hidden are dead or I don’t think I would ever be forgiven. 

I don’t belong anywhere now. 

Except maybe in the water. I could jump out of the boat and spare everyone of my terrible past. I could find somewhere high enough that the water doesn’t reach it. I could fish for food and find a purifier for water. 

But I would probably drown with my leg and all. 

I rest my head against the box behind me, the cold metal seeping through my hair and making me shiver. The air has grown colder ever since the rains came. 

Below me I see the top of a building - maybe Mental’s buildings - and I can’t help but wonder if anyone down there is alive. If they are, they know they’ll either drown or starve eventually. Dr. Sybil and the others don’t stand a chance against the frigid water. Neither do the people in the Box. 

A few of Dr. Barron’s colleagues managed to make it aboard, but when they realized the Box simulation would be no more they quickly stopped acting hostile. 

I want to cry but the tears don’t come. I want to do anything but sit here where I feel useless. Dr. Barron told me I should rest but what if I don’t want to. What if I want to talk to Aspen? What if I want to go back and time and save Ezra? 

I know that’s not possible. And I know there’s no way all of us would’ve made it out alive. We fared pretty well considering only Ezra died. 

And Gretchen. And some of the citizens. I take back my statement from earlier. 

My stomach growls and at first I ignore it, but I can’t just leave my hunger alone. How long has it been since I last ate? 

“Hey! Miguel! Leah! Anyone!” I call out. It takes a moment but someone appears, looking winded. And it’s not Miguel or Leah or Dr. Barron or even Aspen. It’s someone I really wasn’t expecting to see. 

“Is that really you, Jake?” my sister asks. “Are you my brother?” 

“You remember me?” I ask, surprised. I would’ve thought that the Box had erased all their memories of me. 

Bridget nods. “Of course! I remember your bratty smile and your annoying voice and how you always had to get attention for yourself. And then one day you just disappeared. Mom and Dad were devastated.” 

“I didn’t disappear,” I whisper. “I died. My Date was in a week, remember? I wondered what would happen if I jumped and died before my Date.” 

Bridget nods to herself again. “I knew you didn’t just disappear, but no one believed me. They thought I was going insane and accused me of grief.  Anyways, what did you need? I heard you calling.” 

“I’m starving. Is there any food?” I ask her as my stomach growls loudly. 

“Same old Jake, “ Bridget sighs with a laugh. “Always starving.” 

“Get me some food, will ya?” I mumble and Bridget laughs again before disappearing to go get me some food.” 

I relax until Bridget returns with both food and three more familiar figures. 

“Is it really him?” my father asks in doubt. My mother is holding Juliet, the lady overcome with tears. Juliet recognizes me and squeals in delight, grabbing for me. 

My mother almost sits her down on my lap before she spots the bandage wrapped around my leg and stops. Juliet protests, and my mother sits the child beside me. She sticks her thumb in her mouth. 

Bridget hands me a small bag of food, and I immediately devour an apple and a sandwich. My parents watch me, their faces expressionless. 

“So, how’s it going?” I ask, my mouth full of food. Bridget sighs but my mother bursts into tears at the sound of my voice. 

“My son!” she cries out. “Jake, you’re alive!” 

“Actually…” I begin. 

“We know,” Bridget says quietly. “Dr. Barron took all of the citizens down under the deck and explained to us everything. We know that none of us are related.” 

“Family!” Juliet squeals again. “Family!” 

“We’re still family,” I say quietly. “Even if we aren’t related by blood, I spent ten years of my life with you guys. I’m not just going to ignore you now that I have other friends.” 

“That’s a first,” Bridget mumbles under her breath, a smile painted on her face. 

I roll my eyes but a smile finds its way on to my face too. 

“I can’t believe how big and strong and brave you are,” my mother praises. “I always knew you were good for something…” My father elbows her in the stomach. 

“We are proud of you,” my dad tells me. “I never thought that our city was just a simulation. But you were the first to actually escape it! You made it out alive and then you came back and saved us all.” 

“I didn’t do it alone,” I mumble just as Miguel and Leah appear in the corner of my vision. They are close, but they don’t show any signs of something between them. “Meet Miguel - one of my friends - and Leah - my actual cousin.” 

They both wave a shy hello and Bridget raises her eyebrow like she doesn’t believe they’re my friends. 

“It wasn’t just us, either,” Miguel points out. “A lot of people gave up their lives so we could all escape.” His voice catches and he falls silent. “A lot of us lived too, but…” He stops, looking at the ground. 

“We honor those who aren’t here with us,” Leah tells him, grasping his hand. 

My family falls silent and I know they understand that we’ve lost our friends. Even the ones who aren’t dead are lost in a way. Like Aspen. 

I fake a yawn, stretching. “Could you excuse me? I need some sleep and …” 

“Of course,” my mother smiles sadly before touching my father’s arm. “We’ll be here if you need us.” She grabs Juliet and beckons Bridget to follow. Miguel and Leah smile at me before turning to leave. Maybe to explore the rest of the boat. 

I’m not really that tired, but we still have several hours until the hovercraft reaches the dam and another hour after that for the process of placing the boat in the water. 

Sleep crashes over me like a giant wave, sending me spiraling into darkness. 

I’m on the boat, the waves below me crashing down. The boat seems smaller now and empty, the sides wooden rather than sleek metal. There is a pair of oars but I don’t reach for them because of the weird substance coating them. The same color as the water. Blood red. 

In the water I can see pale white hands, reaching for the surface. Deep under I bet there are faces that belong with the hands, but no bubbles appear. Everyone is dead. 

The water is beginning to drain, the red liquid disappearing. I grab the oars and prepare to paddle as the hands grow closer and I can make out the faces. And all of them seem familiar in a way. I scream as I realize why. 

I see the blonde hair from Liliya and Quinn’s thick muscles. Caspian’s dark hair and Warner’s willowy figure. The other Hidden, like Theo and Opal and Amber appear too. Dr. Sybil’s face joins the mix. And slowly the fog around me begins to lift revealing an island ahead, the sandy beach dark as coal and the water lapping up onto the shore. 

As the boat carrying me approaches, the hands begin to reach for me. I smack them down with my paddle, but the hands keep grabbing. The second my boat touches the shore I leap out onto the dry land. 

Two figures appear behind me, materializing out of thin air. 

I scream again as blood pours from a hole in Gretchen’s stomach. Ezra’s normally blonde hair is matted with blood from the hole in his temple. Both of their eyes are blank. They see me but they don’t care. “You killed us,” they chant. “It’s all your fault. You killed us.” 

“No, I didn’t,” I protest. But part of me wonders if maybe they’re right. 

And then Gretchen and Ezra step aside to reveal another figure, this one with blonde hair and deep blue eyes. “You’re not dead,” I exclaim as Aspen takes form in front of me. 

“I’m not,” she says. I don’t know if it’s a question or a statement. 

“You’re alive,” I tell her. “You shouldn’t be here.” 

“I’m dead to you,” she tells me. “Because I’ll never forgive you so what’s the point of me even being here. I’m dead to you, which is basically the same as everyone else here.” 

“You’re alive,” I repeat. 

Aspen rolls her eyes, sneering in my direction. “Yes, I may be alive. And so are you. But my hands are clean. Are yours?” 

I look down at my hands, expecting them to be clean. I think she means that I’ve murdered her brother until I actually look down and see dark blood coating my hands. It creeps up my wrist like a glove, forming Ezra’s name on my palm. I scream again, washing my hands in the water but to no avail. 

Aspen laughs from behind me. “Murderer.” The others join the chant. I cover my ears, losing my balance as Aspen pushes me into the water. 

I wake with a start, panting and covered in sweat. It takes me a moment to calm my racing heart. My whole body is trembling with fear and guilt. I can’t take it anymore - I need Aspen to forgive me before I can forgive myself. 

The moon is high and large, providing a fair amount of light for me to get to my feet. 

My leg throbs in protest of the movement but no one else is around to tell me to get back to bed. And I’m tired of sitting here and waiting for Aspen to come find me. It’s obvious she won’t. 

My leg throbs with every step and I’m starting to wish I had asked for the painkillers instead of choosing to nurse my wounded pride. 

After a while I realize that I’m literally making no progress whatsoever. So I lie down on the deck and begin to drag myself with my arms and push with my good leg. I reach the steps that lead downstairs and I’m about to open the door when it slams open and smacks me in the head. 

I fall backwards, rubbing my head and cursing as someone sticks out a hand to help me up. I grab it without thinking and the person helps me to my feet. 

“Jake?” I groan as I realize it was Aspen who slammed the door into my head. “I’m sorry I hit you.” 

I nod to myself, my leg screaming in pain. Aspen must know what’s happening because she holds out an arm and wraps it around my shoulder, supporting a good deal of my weight. We limp awkwardly back to my spot with the cushions, now damp with the sea spray. 

“I was just coming to find you,” I inform her as I pull my legs inwards, shivering in the cold air. 

“Same here,” Aspen sighs, pulling her legs to her chest in an effort to keep warm. “I wanted to say sorry for what I said earlier.” 

“Same here,” I mumble. “I wish I didn’t have to kill Ezra. I wish he could be here with us.” My voice dies in my throat and I feel tears creeping to my eyes again. I push the pictures from my dream away. 

“I know,” Aspen whispers. “I would’ve done the same thing. It just feels like a part of me is gone, y’know?” 

Her words make sense to me. I nod in agreement, still quiet. “Ezra was my brother,” Aspen continues. “I know you would have felt the same way if it were Juliet or Bridget or whoever your sisters are. I’m not mad at you, I hope you know that. I’m just a little upset.” 

“That’s putting it mildly,” I grumble. Aspen rolls her eyes. “I know that you were shocked and everything - we all were - but you were a bit rude.” 

Aspen rolls her eyes again. “It wasn’t just Ezra! It was the fact that you were injured too. I had no way of knowing what your injury was, I just saw blood. I’ve already lost Gretchen, Ezra, and the Hidden. I don’t want to lose you too.” 

“Well, you found me,” I smile sadly. Aspen laughs a bit and leans against my shoulder. I stroke her hair, finger raking through it. 

“We’ll get through this together,” Aspen tells me. “We escaped the Box. Who knows what’s next.” She pauses for a moment. “Actually, I do know what’s going to happen next.” She looks at me happily. 

“What?” I ask her. 

“We’re going to live happily ever after,” Aspen smiles broadly. “C’mon, in one hour we’ll be on the water and sailing away.” 

“To where?” 

“A new life,” Aspen exclaims. “A better life.”

“To a better life,” I repeat, grabbing her hand in mine. The sun is rising beyond the clouds which seems like an appropriate place to start our new life. 

And this time I have both of my families by my side. 

Before I know it, the hour is up and the hovercraft has successfully placed us in the water. It buzzes once and flies away to who knows where. The citizens begin to make their way up to the deck of the boat. 

The sun is shining brightly, and everyone seems relived we’ve made it this far.

Dr. Barron finds Aspen and I soon enough. She reports that there have been sightings of land not too far from our position right now. She says we’ll get there in two weeks if we hurry. 

Aspen and I thank her for the news. 

She disappears and begins to gather the citizens for below deck inventory. 

Before we know it, Aspen and I are alone again. I wrap my arm around her and she leans into me, her warmth filling my bones with the heat of happiness. 

We are together. And we are alive.